The most important function of music is that it helps people reduce stress. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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People
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hold different views about the importance of
music
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to humans.
While
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some claim that listening to
music
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aids the relief from
stress
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, others opine that it disturbs
people
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's peace. In my opinion, I firmly agree that one will be
stress
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-free when listening to songs. I feel
this
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way for several reasons, which I will explore in the following paragraphs.
Firstly
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,
music
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is an essential tool for relieving
stress
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because there is a release of hormones that promote relaxation
while
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hearing songs. Evidently, a hormone called endorphin is secreted in moods of happiness and singing, which helps relax muscles.
This
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will eventually decrease the feeling of
stress
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.
For example
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, I often listen to
music
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after work, and
this
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has been helping me to combat the pressure from work. I always felt relieved and ready for work the other day. If I had not chosen to listen to
music
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after working long hours, I could not have been agile for another task ahead.
Therefore
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,
this
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demonstrates that
stress
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can be limited through
music
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.
Secondly
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, another compelling reason why
music
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is vital in reducing
people
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's
stress
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is that it serves as diversional therapy. Obviously,
people
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's minds are diverted from the pressure they feel
while
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playing
music
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.
For instance
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, I remember when I was sick and was taken to a hospital. The nurses who cared for me always turned on the television and tuned to
music
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so that my attention would be diverted from the pains I was experiencing.
This
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helped me to feel relieved from the pain, and I got healed.
Hence
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, listening to songs is the best way to be
stress
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-free. In conclusion, I strongly agree with the fact that
music
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serves as the best way to combat
stress
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.
This
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is because it assists in the release of hormones that relax the
muscle
Fix the agreement mistake
muscles
show examples
.
In addition
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, it serves as a diversional therapy to reduce
stress
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.
Submitted by Ayoqueen on

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task response
Your introduction provides a clear overview of your opinion, but it could be more explicitly linked to the question. Make sure to address the specific points mentioned in the prompt to ensure complete task response.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay is logically structured with clear examples and supporting points. However, there are some instances where the use of transition words and phrases would improve the overall coherence. Consider using linking words and transition phrases to improve the flow of your essay.
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