Some people think young people should be free to choose the job that they want, while others believe that they should be realistic and think about their future. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Seeking a satisfying

job

is a herculean task for many young adults in the challenging world. It is often believed that adolescents have a right to choose any

job

they like, while some

people

argue that they should be pragmatic and consider the prospect of

career

growth. On the one hand, there is a common belief that the young generation should pursue a

career

they actually enjoy. One of the important reasons is when the youth love their own

job

, they can independently plan their

career

path and develop their potential skills.

For example

, if a young person loves working in marketing, he can register for some extra courses related to

this

passion to sharpen his skills,

then

Correct word choice

and then

show examples

get a high salary. Another reason is that working in the dream

job

can encourage young

people

's initiative and creativity which leads to high productivity.

As a result

, adolescents may accomplish daunting tasks leading to getting a well-paid

job

and earning the respect of their coworkers.

On the other hand

, there are more significant reasons why young adults should be more practical when choosing their occupation.

This

firstly

Replace the adverb

first

show examples

because having a lucrative

career

may help the young generation to have a good standard of living in big cities. With a worthwhile

job

, they can pay their living expenses,

necessities

Correct word choice

and necessities

show examples

or save money and raise their kids in the future.

Furthermore

, there are some occupations that have few vacancies in the

job

market. If young

people

pursue an impractical

job

, they may become jobless or work in sweat

labor

Change the spelling

labour

show examples

and live in a slum area. To conclude,

although

some

people

believe that adolescents should work in their dream

job

, others argue that having a well-paid

job

is better. I am convinced that they should consider both sectors thoroughly for their prosperous

career

path.

Submitted by hieungan14214 on Wed Oct 12 2022

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

301 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

career trajectory
job satisfaction
employment prospects
financial stability
job security
economically viable
harnessing potential
labor market
vocational guidance
real-world demands

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Some people think young people should be free to choose the job that they want, while others believe that they should be realistic and think about their future. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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