IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Students in some countries leave school without good understanding of how to manage their money, What do you think are the reasons ?What are the solutions to this problem?

#students #countries #school #money
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, many
students
Use synonyms
don’t
Use synonyms
 have good
money
Use synonyms
 management skills when they leave school in some countries.
However
Linking Words
, whether young
people
Use synonyms
 need to learn how to manage their
money
Use synonyms
 is a controversial problem. In my opinion, colleges should provide a subject to teach
people
Use synonyms
 how to manage their
money
Use synonyms
, and the
students
Use synonyms
 need to learn
this
Linking Words
 knowledge. Young
people
Use synonyms
 who are living in
this
Linking Words
 world full of information are easily attracted by anything else. That means they often buy something that they
don’t
Use synonyms
 need. So, they always spend their
money
Use synonyms
 very quickly.
For example
Linking Words
,
students
Use synonyms
 like eating at a restaurant without cooking by themselves, playing games, and watching movies. These hobbies require them to spend lots of
money
Use synonyms
. If their parents give them the
money
Use synonyms
, perhaps they will
use
Use synonyms
 it up in a few days. The simple reason for
this
Linking Words
 situation is that when they get the
money
Use synonyms
, they
don’t
Use synonyms
 know how to make a plan to
use
Use synonyms
 it. They
don’t
Use synonyms
 understand that it is extremely important to take care of their wealth. lack of knowledge from school because colleges only teach them academic subjects.
Students
Use synonyms
 will benefit if they know how to
use
Use synonyms
 their
money
Use synonyms
 appropriately. With technology developing, more and more methods can be used to manage
money
Use synonyms
. Buying funds online, investing in financial instruments, or even saving
money
Use synonyms
 in a bank account are all examples. So colleges could create new programs to teach
students
Use synonyms
 how to deal with their
money
Use synonyms
. Meanwhile,
students
Use synonyms
 can learn and practice to improve their skills. In conclusion, managing
money
Use synonyms
 is an important skill for all young
people
Use synonyms
. It can make them correctly
use
Use synonyms
 their
money
Use synonyms
. Having these skills can
also
Linking Words
 create an opportunity to find a job in the future.
Submitted by kevin. B on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: