Some people say that too much time and resources are spent on the protection of wild animals and birds. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Some people argue that protecting wild
animals
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and birds is a waste of time and money.
i
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I

The pronoun I should always be capitalized.

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completely disagree with
this
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point of view. Many current practices involving the use of
animals
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

illustrate that governments have not invested enough time in the issue of animal welfare.
For example
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, lawmakers have banned the use of wild and exotic
animals
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

for
entertainment's
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entertainment

It seems that this noun form may be incorrect.

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purposes, yet wild
animals
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

are still kept in captivity for circuses.
This
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inconsistency between law-making and law enforcement suggests that the issue is not being taken seriously enough by those in power.
Furthermore
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, it seems that an
education's
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education

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approach is unlikely to change people’s awareness of the issue. For many years, people have underestimated the role of wild
animals
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, and many today still hold a belief that wild animal products have exceptional powers. To re-educate
such
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people requires patience and consistency.
In addition
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to
this
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, resources spent on wildlife protection are still limited. Many authorities believe that wild animal and bird conservation is only of minor importance, and human welfare is far more of a priority.
This
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

is why governments are not willing to allocate large amounts of funds and resources to the conservation of wild
animals
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, which makes it difficult for organisations that are actually trying to make a difference.
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, in Vietnam, we do not see any long-lasting bird conservation campaigns
due to
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

a lack of funding from the government, and it is
government's
Correct article usage
the government's

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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organization that currently raises the funds to take care of existing wild birds. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

there are some time and
resource
Fix the agreement mistake
resources

It seems that resource may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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spent on wild animal and bird protection,
i
Change the capitalization
I

The pronoun I should always be capitalized.

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believe that far more
resource
Fix the agreement mistake
resources

It seems that resource may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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are needed to achieve that ultimate goal.
Submitted by vuhuelinh578 on

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Task Response
Ensure that your essay directly responds to the given question and presents a clear opinion on the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay demonstrates good organization and sequencing of ideas. Use linking words and phrases to further improve cohesion.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Biodiversity
  • Intrinsic value
  • Ecological balance
  • Conservation efforts
  • Endangered species
  • Sustainable resource management
  • Habitat preservation
  • Eco-tourism
  • Job creation
  • Ethical considerations
  • Allocated resources
  • Poverty alleviation
  • Educational initiatives
  • Future generations
  • Wildlife protection
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