The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives.

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The important purpose of knowledge is to improve others’ lives. In recent conditions with the function of humans as social creatures, I agree with

this

Linking Words

statement with my explanation below,

as well as

Linking Words

providing examples to support my views. We are supposed to help each other with our capacity, including our education; it will be more powerful not only for us.

Firstly

Linking Words

, if we keep information to ourselves, it will only be a nice statue in an empty room without anyone seeing it. It must be more useful for others, like Tesla, who use

science

Use synonyms

to solve recent problems about renewable energy with electric cars.

Moreover

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, Einstein answered the question of gravity through relativity theory, which helps society learn physics.

Hence

Linking Words

, it will be more powerful if we share it with the community.

In addition

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, there are so many populations who can not get a proper education to improve their quality of life. As an educated person, we must share

this

Linking Words

insight to help them live better. It will help us to prevent bad society who are uneducated by teaching them our philosophy. There are so many intelligent families in India, but there are

also

Linking Words

many thieves and

bad

Add an article

the bad

show examples

public in that place because education is not scattered there. On the other side, some people have an opinion about

science

Use synonyms

for improving their personal lives because they find it hard and want to keep it alone. It is

also

Linking Words

true,

although

Linking Words

it will be wise if the learning is applicable to society. We will create a sustainable life

together with

Linking Words

it. Knowledge sharing will be more developed if we share it,

for instance

Linking Words

, the development of the telephone by Alexander Graham Bell, which has now become the handphone because

science

Use synonyms

will develop from time to time. In conclusion, I believe as social creatures, we should use

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

science

Use synonyms

to help each other because it will increase our lives together.

Submitted by madekevinbratawisnu on Sun Dec 31 2023

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task achievement

The essay provides a clear position on the topic, but needs to ensure all parts fully address the task and consist of detail and development.

coherence cohesion

Logical sequencing of ideas is somewhat evident, but the essay needs clearer paragraphing with more varied linking devices to ensure smooth progression throughout.

coherence cohesion

Main points are supported, but the support could be more elaborated and tied directly to the thesis to strengthen coherence and relevance.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

319 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

crucial role
technological advancements
medical discoveries
life-changing inventions
innovations
solutions to human problems
enhancing quality of life
improvement of healthcare
transportation
communication
agriculture
energy sectors
eradication of diseases
prolongation of life expectancy
global challenges
climate change
overpopulation
food security
developed world
underprivileged communities

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The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Many people, especially young children, watch too much television. Some experts think that this can be dangerous, and that the time would be better spent doing other thing. What are the advantages and disadvantages of watching television?

Task 1. The picture below shows the differences in the layout of the conference centre

Some people think the government should provide free education in all levels. Others argue that university students should pay for their education. Discuss both views.

Some people believe that preserving the natural environment is vital, whereas, most make no effort to do so. Why do you think this is happening? What are some simple actions that could help the environment? e