The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives.

#aim #science #people #lives

The important purpose of knowledge is to improve others’ lives. In recent conditions with the function of humans as social creatures, I agree with

this

statement with my explanation below,

as well as

providing examples to support my views. We are supposed to help each other with our capacity, including our education; it will be more powerful not only for us.

Firstly

, if we keep information to ourselves, it will only be a nice statue in an empty room without anyone seeing it. It must be more useful for others, like Tesla, who use

science

to solve recent problems about renewable energy with electric cars.

Moreover

, Einstein answered the question of gravity through relativity theory, which helps society learn physics.

Hence

, it will be more powerful if we share it with the community.

In addition

, there are so many populations who can not get a proper education to improve their quality of life. As an educated person, we must share

this

insight to help them live better. It will help us to prevent bad society who are uneducated by teaching them our philosophy. There are so many intelligent families in India, but there are

also

many thieves and

bad

Add an article

the bad

show examples

public in that place because education is not scattered there. On the other side, some people have an opinion about

science

for improving their personal lives because they find it hard and want to keep it alone. It is

also

true,

although

it will be wise if the learning is applicable to society. We will create a sustainable life

together with

it. Knowledge sharing will be more developed if we share it,

for instance

, the development of the telephone by Alexander Graham Bell, which has now become the handphone because

science

will develop from time to time. In conclusion, I believe as social creatures, we should use

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

science

to help each other because it will increase our lives together.

Submitted by madekevinbratawisnu on Sun Dec 31 2023

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task achievement

The essay provides a clear position on the topic, but needs to ensure all parts fully address the task and consist of detail and development.

coherence cohesion

Logical sequencing of ideas is somewhat evident, but the essay needs clearer paragraphing with more varied linking devices to ensure smooth progression throughout.

coherence cohesion

Main points are supported, but the support could be more elaborated and tied directly to the thesis to strengthen coherence and relevance.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

319 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

crucial role
technological advancements
medical discoveries
life-changing inventions
innovations
solutions to human problems
enhancing quality of life
improvement of healthcare
transportation
communication
agriculture
energy sectors
eradication of diseases
prolongation of life expectancy
global challenges
climate change
overpopulation
food security
developed world
underprivileged communities

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The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Write a letter to the accommodation officer at the college. In your letter describe the situation explain your problems and why it is difficult to work say what kind of accommodation you would prefer

Some say that music, art and drama are as important as other school subjects, especially at the primary level. Do you agree or diagree?

In today’s world, private companies rather than the government pay for and conduct most scientific research. Do you think the advantages outweigh disadvantages?

An increasing number of professionals, such as doctors and teachers, are leaving their own poorer countries to work in developed countries. What prombles does this cause? What can be done to deal with this situation?

Some people believe that teaching children at home is best for a child's development while others think that it is important for children to go to school. Discuss the advantages and give your own opinion.