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Band 5.5

Some people think that some types of criminals should not go to prison. Instead they should do unpaid work in the community. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #criminals #prison #work #community
In
this
 contemporary world,people argue that some
convict
Fix the agreement mistake
convicts
show examples
 should do volunteer
effort
Fix the agreement mistake
efforts
show examples
instead
 of putting them behind the bars.I strongly agree with
this
 opinion and in
this
 ,
Add an article
an
the
show examples
essay I am going to elaborate on my thoughts.
To begin
 with,there are various levels of crime in
this
 society ranging from moderate to high according to the law.To elucidate,murder,rape and burglary are considered serious crimes in
this
 society.I agree that these offenders should spend their time in prison.
However
,traffic violations, and littering in public places are classified as moderate crimes and should be engaged to do unpaid work.In most cases,defaulters are booked for their offences and spend their time in confinement.
However
,most of them have not learned a lesson from their term in prison or willing to accept their mistakes.The only option to get them to realise their mistakes is to engage them in some community work.
Firstly
,There is a shortage of individuals doing charity
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
.
For example
,In orphanages there is a lack of resources to take of children and fulfilling their needs,
Also
 in old age ,homes senior citizens need physical support and some assistance doing their chores.
Moreover
,in ,hospitals there are a plethora of patients who need assistance.Law enforcement must engage
this
Correct determiner usage
the
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 culprit involved in any of
this
 voluntary industry to compensate for their term in jail.
Also
,they should be involved in cleaning the public parks,regulating the traffic signals,moping the public hospitals and assisting the front-line workers in case of any emergency.Not only
,
Add the word(s)
but ,
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they will not repeat the mistakes again they will
also
 gain some experience to be a responsible citizen. To conclude,it is a better option to engage the offenders to do some community work rather than putting them behind the bars,
Submitted by stevejegan on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • rehabilitation
  • incarceration
  • non-violent crimes
  • overcrowding
  • reoffending rates
  • judicial discretion
  • alternative punishments
  • public funds
  • community service
  • petty theft
  • vandalism
  • punitive measures
  • social reintegration
  • deterrence
  • minor offenses
What to do next:
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