Some people think that having a set retiremnet age(e.g. 65 years) for everybody, regardless of occupation, is unfair. They believe that certain workers deserve to retire and receive at an earlier age. 1.Do you agree or disagree? 2.Which types of workers do you think should benefit from early retirement? Give reasond for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

With the growing development of the medical industry, thankfully, humans can have much longer life expectancies than in the past.

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nowadays,

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at 65 years old seems a standard in most countries, I agree that certain types of jobs must retire earlier than others. In

this

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essay, I will explain the supporting reasons for my opinion, as well as specific types of occupation sectors.

First

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of all, I believe that any occupation related to serving countries should get a pension early. To illustrate, working as a soldier in the military, a police officer and a firefighter consistently require one to dedicate one's life. Not only their lives are in danger all the time

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if any emergency happens, but they

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have to fight for the country and put citizens

first

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Therefore

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, surely, their devotion and commitments are inspiring enough to deserve better

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age benefits.

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, I insist that certain occupations related to sports or physical activities must get early

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benefits.

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, national athletes and sports stars bring great victory, fame and entertainment to the nation. Of course, their hardship going through training has to be highly valued.

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, In comparison with other jobs, sportsmen always use their physical strength to earn money and they are more likely to get injured by unexpected accidents,

therefore

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, they should retire earlier than others. In conclusion, I highly support the idea to allow

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at different ages under certain circumstances. For getting

this

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benefit, I believe national heroes who risk their lives for the country's safety and who contribute to bringing great fame to the nation are the most eligible to receive the benefits.

amyheo92

Oct 17, 2022

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8
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

274 words

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