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Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #attention
Some people believe that advertising is an achievable way to motivate the audience to buy new things, while others say that it is shown too much that people no longer give attention to it.
Although
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 an excessive amount of promotions has made people insensitive to new products, I believe that
advertisements
 play an extremely important role as it attracts the target audience with a promotional strategy. On the one hand, loads of promotions have made most of the population immune to fancy products.
This
 is because, there have been different types of endless
advertisements
 displayed after every short video or on gaming websites, which results in scrolling down social media users without giving any importance to it. For ,instance ,
initially
Add a comma
,initially
show examples
 users used to get irritated with an interruption of promotional videos while watching the show, but now excessive advertising has made them immune to them without giving any importance to the content of the video.
However
, I believe that
advertisements
 are the primary reason for the development of growing social media companies.
On the other hand
,
advertisements
 are shown directly to the required target audience through a proper strategy of artificial intelligence to please the buyers.
That is
 to say that, promotional
advertisements
 are shown on the screen according to the needs and interests of the user's bio-data, which leads to persuading every individual to look into their wants relating to their age and lifestyle.
For example
, adult women would be shown to have different household equipment on the screen whereas, a youngster would see different electronic gaming items or make-up kits.
Therefore
, I believe that
such
 software in the advertising world has made accurate targets of populations tricking the minds and resulting in buying non-essential products. In conclusion, even though,
advertisements
 have made the population insensitive to its appearance, I believe that it plays full importance in persuading users to buy unnecessary items.
Submitted by nottasadaf96 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • persuade
  • promote
  • attract
  • influence
  • impact
  • consumerism
  • commercialism
  • market
  • product
  • brand
  • endorsement
  • manipulative
  • saturated
  • overwhelmed
  • repetitive
  • distracting
  • irrelevant
  • exaggerated
  • misleading
  • desensitized
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