IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

People who live in big cities face a number of problems in their daily life. What are the main issues people in cities face? How can this be tackled?

#people #cities #face #life #be
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
We live in an age where it is believed that many issues are experienced by individuals who reside within an urban area. There is no denying that cities are generally more polluted due to
increasing
Correct article usage
the increasing
show examples
 cars number as well as industry development,
moreover
Linking Words
, large cities are known for the fast life pace, negatively influencing civilians’ mental health. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will thoroughly examine
difficulties
Correct article usage
the difficulties
show examples
 listed above in order to find possible solutions.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, there is a significant improvement in technologies and production, that brings a lot of pleasurable conveniences in
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
daily life of a human being, including
variety
Add an article
a variety
show examples
 of transport means,
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
 it
also
Linking Words
 has
evident
Add an article
an evident
show examples
 negative impact in the form of
pollutions
Fix the agreement mistake
pollution
show examples
. Unfortunately,
health
Add an article
the health
show examples
 of citizens is crucially affected by poor ecological conditions, starting from skin issues to some severe lung illnesses.
In addition
Linking Words
, along with constantly rising competition
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
labor
Change the spelling
labour
show examples
 market of big urban areas, the pressure, put on
shoulders
Correct article usage
the shoulders
show examples
 of adults, is skyrocketing, heavily damaging their emotional stability. Hopefully, it is
also
Linking Words
 can be witnessed that growing concerns regarding citizens’ daily setbacks have recently resulted in the dynamic reflecting process on possible resolutions. To the best of my knowledge, a great amount of people
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 willing to make their contribution to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
environment
Replace the word
environmental
show examples
 protection, by means of participation in various volunteering activities, aimed at
Add an article
the dip
a dip
show examples
dip
Wrong verb form
dipping
show examples
 in fuel usage or
wastes
Change the noun form
waste
show examples
 recycling. It is
also
Linking Words
 worth mentioning that astonishing diversity of therapies and consulting services
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 provided
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 a psychic market of metropolises. Both old and young generation representatives are highly recommended to take care of their body and soul, as it is an essential part of their happiness. Taking into account everything mentioned above, I am strongly convinced that the ecological problems and spiritual disbalance, caused by the competitive city atmosphere, are the biggest “downs” city residents face,
in contrast
Linking Words
, overall ecology protection measures
as well as mental self-consciousness and appropriate treatment
Add the comma(s)
, as well as mental self-consciousness and appropriate treatment,
show examples
 are suggested as possible
gamechangers
Correct your spelling
game-changers
game changers
.
Submitted by thunderbird1728 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: