If people could choose between a life without working or a life spending too much time working, people would choose a life without work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In today’s modern life, if allowed to
select
between a life without Verb problem
choose
work
and a hard-
Correct your spelling
hard work
work
life, people
usually choose the former. In my opinion, I think people
should learn how to balance between work
and rest.
On the one hand, not having to work
can be beneficial due to
several reasons. Change preposition
for
Firstly
, when individuals do not have to put most of their mind and time
into work
, they will appreciate their family time
. This
means that all the family members can share their thoughts and interests together. As a result
, they could forge their family bonds. Secondly
, more time
can be used for self-discovery. This
is mainly because people
may have a lot of time
to find what they want and pursue their passions, such
as music and art.
On the other hand
, there are some benefits if people
try to work
hard. To begin
with, a stable job will provide people
with an income which can be used for personal needs. This
is mainly because people
would have money or savings to afford medical treatments for themselves as well as
for their family and basic needs such
as housing and food. Moreover
, working hard and effectively will help develop the country's economy. For example
, thanks to the hard work
and efforts of each Japanese citizen and the Japanese government, their economy has become one of the leading economic sectors in the world.
In conclusion, people
should maintain a balance between rest and work
so that they can not only contribute to the development of the economy and solve financial problems,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
spend time
taking care of their families and themselves.Submitted by huynhtrucminhthu39 on
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coherence cohesion
While the introduction and conclusion are clear, consider elaborating more on your conclusion to reinforce your stance.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your arguments, which can add depth and clarity to your points.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with a good balance between the introduction and conclusion, which supports the argument effectively.
task achievement
The arguments for both not working and working hard are well-reasoned, providing a balanced perspective on the issue.
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