If people could choose between a life without working or a life spending too much time working, people would choose a life without work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In today’s modern life, if allowed to
select
Verb problem
choose
show examples
between a life without
work
and a
hard-
Correct your spelling
hard work
show examples
work
life,
people
usually choose the former. In my opinion, I think
people
should learn how to balance between
work
and rest. On the one hand, not having to
work
can be beneficial
due to
Change preposition
for
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several reasons.
Firstly
, when individuals do not have to put most of their mind and
time
into
work
, they will appreciate their family
time
.
This
means that all the family members can share their thoughts and interests together.
As a result
, they could forge their family bonds.
Secondly
, more
time
can be used for self-discovery.
This
is mainly because
people
may have a lot of
time
to find what they want and pursue their passions,
such
as music and art.
On the other hand
, there are some benefits if
people
try to
work
hard.
To begin
with, a stable job will provide
people
with an income which can be used for personal needs.
This
is mainly because
people
would have money or savings to afford medical treatments for themselves
as well as
for their family and basic needs
such
as housing and food.
Moreover
, working hard and effectively will help develop the country's economy.
For example
, thanks to the hard
work
and efforts of each Japanese citizen and the Japanese government, their economy has become one of the leading economic sectors in the world. In conclusion,
people
should maintain a balance between rest and
work
so that they can not only contribute to the development of the economy and solve financial problems
,
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apply
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but
also
spend
time
taking care of their families and themselves.
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task response
To improve task response, make sure to address both sides of the argument in more detail. Provide a balanced discussion of the benefits and drawbacks of a life without work versus a hard-working life.
coherence cohesion
To enhance coherence and cohesion, consider using more transition words and phrases to connect ideas within and between paragraphs. Additionally, ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and supports it effectively with relevant examples.
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