Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
The 21st century is known as a digital era, which is referred that most people, especially the young generation have started utilizing mobile
phones
in terms of many purposes, starting from educational ones and ending up with
spending leisure time on them. Change preposition
to
Consequently
, this
trend led to an addiction to phones
and I find it to be generally a negative effect.
In conventional times, adolescents could spend their free time on
reading books, listening to music on the radio or playing games outside, but the “all-in-one” device provides all of these activities in one smartphone now. Change preposition
apply
As a result
, children lead a sedentary lifestyle instead
of doing physical activities which might have some negative impacts on their health. To illustrate my point, I had a project with a related topic and I conducted a survey among 50 students at my university. The result of the findings showed that 74% of students devote their time to phones
for about 6 hours and only 26% of them attend some physical training courses.
Another negative feature of this
trend is the addiction to these technologies. The more young people have an incredibly strong desire for smartphones, the more possibilities for a decline in their development. It is assumed that the excessive usage of mobile phones
could bring a decrease in the child’s brain growth chance. For example
, despite having a hectic schedule and loads of homework, young pupils could be busy playing online games or watching entertaining videos on their mobiles. Therefore
, continuing this
trend may bring bad scores and grades in their academic life.
In conclusion, some children’s non-stop usage of mobile phones
is increasing now which causes addiction and unhealthy sedentary lifestyles to them. I believe that majority of these cases are disadvantageous.Submitted by dariyab0110 on
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite