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Band 7.5

With the improvements in today’s health care, society has to care for more and more elderly people. Do you feel that society will be able to cope with the increase in numbers of elderly people today and how can it be managed? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#improvements #today’s #health #care #society #people #numbers
As life expectancy is going high, the majority of the
population
 is becoming elderly. In
this
 situation, the elderly
population
 should be obviously paid more attention to for some reasons. In
this
 essay, I will discuss why laws and facilities for the elderly are necessary for society.
To begin
 with, there are some reasons why elderly people should be treated carefully.
Firstly
, since there have been great technological advances at the moment, all people are expected to live longer. What it means is that the average age of the public is going to be older. If
this
population
 is ignored and unattended, they will be much more likely to suffer from severe illnesses and diseases, exposed to a higher chance of getting sick. As the majority of the
population
, whether they are healthy and productive or unhealthy and non-productive will probably bring a huge gap in the future.
Furthermore
, many ways to support the old can be thought about.
First
 and foremost, considering the fact that seniors are veterans in many different kinds of industrial fields, we could make a great amount of financial revenue by producing more jobs for those.
In addition
, they might be able to play the role of teachers or assistants for beginners in their fields. As far as health is concerned, the government can decline the old's health insurance and build more medical facilities in which they can get treatment at a reasonable price. To conclude, since I believe there are still a number of significant roles the elderly can play in the community, it is of great importance to prepare for the future in which the rate of the old
population
 will increase.
As a result
, our future could be a step
further
 to a better world.
Submitted by johndaegeun on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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