There is a lot of pressure on young people today to succeed academically. As a result, some people believe that non-academic subjects, such as physical education and cookery, should be removed from the school syllabus so that children can concentrate on academic work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
An increasing number of students nowadays opt to receive a lot of pressure to succeed academically.
This
argument has a number of agreements and disagreements of whether some subjects are required to or not required to pursue, to decline the stress rate experienced by students, which will be discussed in this
article.
Some people
were born academically well, while
others were born to explore social skills. I believe in the future
, these groups will still required in society, and school is the best place to create and help young people
define what they really want in the future
.
However
, humans’ lives are now surrounded by the advancement of technology. The study forecasts that automation will dominate the future
, as well as
Artificial Intelligence which is predicted to replace 30% of current jobs. This
means young people
ought to learn other hard skills where Add an article
the community
community
are still in need and AI is likely impossible to replace. Fix the agreement mistake
communities
For example
, a self-defence subject or even a cooking class. Not surprisingly, pupils tend to have higher interests in learning physical or social-related skills.
One noticeable feature, on the other hand
, is probably that the future
needs a well-academic bunch of people
, as the development of technology is basically ruled by people
. Besides
, the major indicator of developed countries is the technology implementation within. This
means, that the world demands academically innovative people
to realize the upcoming, and to create innovative ones, the basic stage is to prepare them from the early stage, which is the school stage. No wonder, schools are now focusing on the science-related syllabus.
To sum up
, school is a perfect environment for young people
to do and explore many stuffs, Despite removing some non-academic subjects, I believe it is better to let students learn as much as possible, as well as
decide their focus based on their passionSubmitted by semangatbanget.s2 on
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introduction
Ensure that your introduction clearly presents the topic and your overall viewpoint. The current introduction does not fully set the stage for the ensuing discussion.
examples
Provide more concrete examples to support your points. This will help illustrate your arguments and make your essay more persuasive.
logical structure
Work on developing a clear, logical structure within your paragraphs. Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea, which should be supported by specific details or examples.
conclusion
Make sure your conclusion summarizes your main points and reiterates your position on the topic. It should be a clear end to the discussion without introducing new ideas.
clear comprehensive ideas
Focus on developing clear and comprehensive ideas in each paragraph. Avoid overly complex sentences that can confuse the reader and detract from the clarity of your position.
task response
Your task response could be improved by fully addressing all parts of the prompt. Make sure to explicitly state the extent to which you agree or disagree with the removal of non-academic subjects.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.