In many parts of the world, people search for family history. some people think that finding for the previous generations is a thing to do, but others think that it is better to be focus on present and future generations. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
It is often considered that finding historical family information is more beneficial. Meanwhile, few
people
reject this
notion because they want to focus
on the contemporary era and upcoming youths. In my, an inclined it is good to focus
on the present era but past information leads to awareness among individuals. This
essay will further
elaborate on both statements which leads to a logical conclusion.
Analyzing the statement and explaining further
, first and foremost knowing about ancient family generation's data help you out in the future
because it involves previous experienced
and Replace the word
experiences
spread
awareness among Correct subject-verb agreement
spreads
people
. Furthermore
, some masses want to know about their family history so they can follow in the future
and their culture will remain alive forever. Therefore
, they also
insist their young ones have knowledge of family history. For example
, a survey conducted by The Time of India mentioned in their article that India is a religious nation where people
use to
follow them and want to continue Verb problem
apply
such
traditions in future
so they can connect with past memories of family.
Probing ahead, others believe is better to concentrate on the future
rather than think about the past lifestyle. However
, nowadays competition is rising day by day, as per development in the technologies and increase in population individuals need to gather their attention on the present time, so they can survive and also
helpful for the future
generations. For instance
, In Kota City which is located in Rajasthan where
the student goes for IIT and NEET preparation at an earlier age so they can prepare well Rephrase
apply
as well as
gather their focus
on their goals.
In a nutshell, according to
the ,
argument one can reach the conclusion that family history tradition should be followed in Remove the comma
apply
future
because its
keeps you connected with family ancestors. Change the pronoun
it
Moreover
, people
should deviate their minds and just focus
on the future
.Submitted by vermarohit981.rv on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Task Response
The essay adequately addresses the prompt by discussing both views and presenting a concluding opinion. However, the introduction could be more clear and the conclusion may benefit from a more decisive stance.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay demonstrates coherence and cohesion through its logical progression of ideas and use of examples. However, the introduction and conclusion could be more clearly linked to the body of the essay.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!