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Writing Samples /
Band 6

with the increased global demand in oil and gas, undiscovered areas of the world should be opened up to access more recources. to what extend do you agree?

#demand #oil #gas #areas #world #access #recources
There is no doubt that with the striking progress of technology ,human beings’ lives are highly
depended
Replace the word
dependent
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 on
oil
 and
gas
 nowadays. With the growth of
global
Correct article usage
the global
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 use of
oil
 and
gas
, more and more areas should be opened up to extract them. I believe there are both advantages and disadvantages
in
Change preposition
to
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 adopting
such
 an approach. On the one hand,there are some benefits
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 opening up new places to extract
gas
 and
oil
.
Firstly
,
gas
 and
oil
 count as very indispensable sources nowadays, which are used in almost every industry. Dwindling these precious
resources
 might lead to catastrophic events and unprecedented crises.
For example
, disastrous wars might happen due to gaining more
resources
,
which
Correct word choice
and
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its
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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consequences could be miserable.
Secondly
, opening up new regions might provide the opportunity for human beings to discover new materials ,which could be unique to these virgin parts of the world.
For instance
, in the process of extraction , it is feasible that scientists
find
Fix the infinitive
to find
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 a completely new resource which could be more beneficial to humans.
Correct your spelling
Therefore
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Therefor
Correct your spelling
Therefore
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, searching
new
Change preposition
for new
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 places for finding
gas
 and
oil
 could have some positive effects.
On the other hand
, there are some drawbacks
in
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to
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 opening up new areas . The
first
 setback is that by adopting
such
 an approach
Correct your spelling
in numerous
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innumerous
Replace the word
numerous
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 animals might lose their natural habitats , which could put a pressing strain on
the
Correct article usage
apply
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nature. Having their habitat been destroyed, a lot of marine animals might be at
the
Correct article usage
apply
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risk of extinction .
Moreover
, extracting new
resources
 means using more
gas
 and
oil
 in the world , which its results could be harmful
for
Change the preposition
to
show examples
 our planet. When new
resources
 are accessible, people could easily turn a blind eye
on
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to
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 renewable
resources
, like solar or
wild
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wind
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 power, whereas if they do not take the
amount
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number
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 of
resources
 available for granted , there will be
more
Add an article
a more
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 pressing need to move towards more environmentally friendly
resources
. As a
Correct the article-noun agreement
result
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results
Add a comma
,results
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 there are some negative points in discovering virgin places. To conclude,There is an uprising demand
on
Change preposition
for
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resources
 related to
gas
 and
oil
 globally ,and in order to access more
resources
, new areas should be opened up. In my perception, there are both pros and cons
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 taking
such
 measures.
Submitted by saba.taraghi on

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