IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programs (for example working on charity, teaching sport to younger people) To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Many people argue that unpaid
community
Use synonyms
service
Use synonyms
 should be a compulsory part of high school programs. I firmly agree with
this
Linking Words
 view because
such
Linking Words
 initiatives not only equip
students
Use synonyms
 with valuable social skills but
also
Linking Words
 offer a much-needed break from the
rigors
Change the spelling
rigours
show examples
 of academic study. Engaging in voluntary work—whether it involves assisting in charity events or teaching sports to younger children—allows adolescents to interact with a diverse range of people.
This
Linking Words
 exposure helps them develop essential skills
such
Linking Words
 as effective communication, teamwork, and empathy.
Moreover
Linking Words
, by working alongside less fortunate members of society,
students
Use synonyms
 learn to appreciate their own circumstances and develop a sense of gratitude. These experiences contribute to nurturing a generation
that is
Linking Words
 both socially responsible and sensitive to
community
Use synonyms
 needs. High school
students
Use synonyms
 are often overwhelmed by heavy academic loads, leaving little room for activities that foster personal growth outside the classroom. Integrating
community
Use synonyms
service
Use synonyms
 into the curriculum can provide a refreshing change of pace.
For instance
Linking Words
, after long hours of studying,
students
Use synonyms
 who volunteer to help senior citizens with grocery shopping or
community
Use synonyms
 events often report feeling more rejuvenated and motivated.
Such
Linking Words
 activities not only reduce stress but
also
Linking Words
 help build positive relationships within the
community
Use synonyms
,
further
Linking Words
 enhancing the
Use synonyms
students’
Correct your spelling
student’s
show examples
overall
Linking Words
 well-being. In conclusion, making unpaid
community
Use synonyms
service
Use synonyms
 a mandatory part of high school education offers significant benefits. It develops crucial interpersonal skills and empathy
while
Linking Words
 giving
students
Use synonyms
 an opportunity to unwind from their academic pressures. By fostering both personal and social growth, compulsory
community
Use synonyms
service
Use synonyms
 can play a vital role in shaping well-rounded individuals who are prepared to contribute positively to society.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
Consider providing a more balanced view by acknowledging potential counterarguments or different perspectives on the topic.
Task Achievement
Ensure that each main point is fully supported with specific examples or experiences, as this will strengthen your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
While your essay follows a logical structure well, using more transition words could further enhance the flow between paragraphs.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, providing a strong framework for your argument.
Task Achievement
Your ideas are well-developed and demonstrate a good understanding of the topic, which makes your argument persuasive.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • unpaid community service
  • compulsory
  • high school programs
  • charity work
  • social responsibility
  • empathy
  • teamwork
  • leadership skills
  • personal development
  • civic participation
  • engagement
  • motivation
  • academic performance
  • life skills
  • burden
  • enforcement
  • privilege
  • citizenship
  • volunteer work
  • community needs
What to do next:
Look at other essays: