IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good member of society. Other, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give own opinion.

#people #parents #children #member #society #school #place
It is considered by some that
parents
 should teach their
children
 about the ways to be good and civilised members of
society
 while others hold the opinion that these values should be taught by the
school
.
However
, in my opinion, I believe that
parents
 and
school
 both are equally important to instil moral values, among
children
, to be a good
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
show examples
. On one hand,
parents
 are the
first
 teachers, and home is the
first
school
 where
children
 learn about life lessons. Educating
children
 about love, empathy, kindness, and socially acceptable behaviour is a must at home.
In addition
,
children
 should be taught to help the needy members of the community because
parents
 know their
children
 well.
Hence
, they can teach their kids about social responsibilities effectively, which should not be ignored.
On the other hand
,
school
 is the place where
children
 are taught
skills
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 various subjects that help
to
Correct pronoun usage
them to
show examples
 be self-reliant. When
children
 gain education and various
skills
 in
school
, it will help them in future to become self-dependent.
This
 will
also
 empower them to contribute towards
society
Add an article
the society
show examples
 using their
skills
.
For example
, educated
children
 may help to teach
Correct article usage
the alphabets
show examples
alphabets
Fix the agreement mistake
alphabet
show examples
 and help to read and write, to illiterate members of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
.
Thus
, in my opinion,
children
 should be taught to be socially responsible by
parents
 as well as at
school
. When
children
 get
such
 education of
skills
, love, and kindness they can grow to become a helpful
member
Fix the agreement mistake
members
show examples
 of
society
. In conclusion, the most effective method to help
children
 to become morally and socially responsible
part
Fix the agreement mistake
parts
show examples
 of
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
 is to teach them at home and
also
 at
school
.
Submitted by suhailjallalzadah on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • role models
  • moral values
  • social norms
  • structured environment
  • cooperation
  • respect
  • communal responsibilities
  • decision-making
  • societal integration
  • consistent messages
  • cultural expectations
  • complementary roles
What to do next:
Look at other essays: