IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

There seems to be an increasing number of serious crimes committed each year. While some think the best way is to use the death penalty as a deterrent, many people believe that other measures will be needed. Discuss both sides.

#crimes #year #think #death #penalty #deterrent #people #measures
Recently, there has been a significant increase in the worst committed crimes. Many believe the death penalty is the best solution, while others consider different answers.
For example
, benefits from it include avoidance of murders and lowering the
costs
 of maintenance of inmates.
On the other hand
, what if the sentence was wrong? The introduction of the death penalty is the worst possible punishment that a judge can make. Many people feel
that is
 the answer to the issue of criminals like serial killers because if they know about it, they may have
second
 thoughts before committing a crime. It's a kind of prevention. Individuals
also
 believe that's a way to lower the
costs
 of maintenance of prisoners. Prisons generate
costs
 which had to be covered by public taxes. If we eliminated the number of inmates, the national budget would recover.
Moreover
, societies asked in the survey believe that lowering the
costs
 of running prisons are necessary.
On the other hand
, everyone deserves a
second
 chance, no matter what actions did in the past. Inmates are people who should have an opportunity to change. There was a famous serial killer, Jaffrey Dahmer, who decided to get baptised when he was in prison. There is
also
 the problem of wrong sentences. What if the judge accuses the suspect of something which wasn't true? In case of that, there won't be a return. That happened mainly in the past.
However
, there always is a possibility. In conclusion, the death penalty is the most severe type of punishment. The positives are preventing people from committing murders and revealing to the budget,
although
 it contains negatives
such
 as taking away the possibility to change.
Submitted by radomskaiga on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • deterrent
  • recidivism
  • rehabilitation
  • ethical considerations
  • economic factors
  • social factors
  • community policing
  • public opinion
  • recidivism rates
  • community-driven initiatives
  • modern policing methods
  • death penalty
  • serious crimes
  • crime rates
What to do next:
Look at other essays: