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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

People are of the opinion that children’s behavior should be controlled by their parents and teachers. Others do believe that children should be free to do as they like. Discuss both views and state your opinion

#people #children’s #behavior #parents #teachers #children
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There is a controversial topic about
children
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's
behaviour
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 among people, some believe that
parents
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 and teachers should take a
control
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 of
children
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's
behaviour
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. Others think that we should let them feel free. I reckon that giving
children
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freedom
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 can be a good
way
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;
however
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, we should not thoroughly stop taking a
control
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 of their manners.
Freedom
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 is the most valuable part of our life and every person is able to do what he wants.Giving an opportunity to feel free and live how they want is a great
way
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 in developing a child's
behaviour
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 that can guarantee to become an independent person. Because by making decisions by themselves they can easily develop their decision-making skills.
Parents
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 and teachers are responsible for a child's
behaviour
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 and they should
control
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 almost every step that was made by them. Any action which was unconsciously made can lead to bad consequences because of the fact that they are young to make wise decisions
parents
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 or teachers should help to decide and show the right
way
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.
In addition
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, they can preserve them from being spoilt , to be more precise, from doing bad things
such
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 as dealing drugs and etc. All the above-mentioned reasons can be why they need to be controlled.
On the other hand
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, we have to be careful about giving
freedom
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 in the aforementioned statement because youngsters can screw up our faith by making bad choices because of their age and experience. And
that is
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 why I want to say that we should give them
freedom
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 but with some limitations that can be controlled by their
parents
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 only. And when it comes to controlling
children
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 is something that should be kept in a normal
way
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. Over-controlling can lead to bad moods and misbehaving with their
children
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.
For instance
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, a friend of mine always complains about the
control
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 of his
parents
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 which makes him feel uncomfortable. In conclusion, youngsters should have a chance to be free while their caretakers
control
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 them. We should give them a chance to make a decision ourselves so our
children
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 can feel confident and prepare for the future life
Submitted by bekzodeshonjonovv on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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