Mobile phones and the Internet have made it easy to stay in contact with other people. However, as a lot of time is spent using telephones and computers, there is less face-to-face contact and direct communication. Is the growing use of communications technology a positive or a negative development for society ?

Mobile phones and the
Internet
have made
communication
more easier. Some
people
argue that
people
are spending a lot of time using phones and computers,
therefore
, face-to-face and direct
communication
have reduced. I personally believe that increasing
use
Correct article usage
the use
show examples
of
technology
in
communication
is a positive development because
people
can contact in different ways, and they do not wait for long to connect with their
families
like
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
past. An increasing use of
technology
in
communication
is a positive development because
people
easily contact others in different ways. With the help of mobiles and the
Internet
,
people
call their
friends
and
families
, see them in video calls, and send them pictures and documents with a single click. These numerous versions of
communication
help
people
to connect with their
friends
and
families
without any effort.
For example
, the young generation in Australia has said they especially love
communication
through the
Internet
because it allows various means of
communication
.
Moreover
, with the
Internet
and mobile phones,
people
can easily communicate with their
friends
and
families
faster. In the past,
people
used to wait for a long time to get a letter from their
friends
and
families
. Nowadays,
people
use the
Internet
, mobiles, and computers,
therefore
, they do not have to wait for a long time to connect with their
friends
and
families
.
Communication
has become more faster because of
technology
.
For example
,
people
receive text messages from their
friends
and
families
just in a second. They do not have to wait for a month to receive a letter. In conclusion, I believe that using
technology
in
communication
is a positive development because it has made
communication
more easier and faster.
Submitted by rahman_rehana on

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language use
Try to use 'easier' instead of 'more easier' as 'easier' is the correct comparative form.
examples
While your examples are relevant, try to diversify the examples beyond just the younger generation in Australia for a broader perspective.
coherence cohesion
Ensure every paragraph transitions smoothly to enhance coherence and demonstrate clear progression.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear position on the topic and consistently supports it throughout the essay.
organization
The introduction and conclusion are clear, effectively presenting and summarizing the main points.
supporting detail
The essay uses specific examples to illustrate points, such as mentioning how communication is instantaneous compared to the past.

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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