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These days people spend more than more time at work and less time at home. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

#people #time #work #home
There is no denying the fact that the main impact of
work
 is debatable. It is argued that people recently are spending more
time
 at
work
 than they do at home. In
this
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
 I will discuss why working more can allow for a more flexible financial status, but
also
 can affect both, social and physical health. There are many advantages of spending more
time
 at
work
. A key benefit is that people can enhance their financial status.
This
 is because when they
work
 a few hours more, it means getting more money.
This
 results in being able to cover living expenses like house rent,
schools
Fix the agreement mistake
school
show examples
, and other responsibilities.
In addition
, the more the employees spend
time
 at
work
, the more they can achieve more tasks. Which will affect their evaluation and
increases
Correct subject-verb agreement
increase
show examples
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 chance of getting a higher position or maybe a promotion.
In other words
, career development.
On the other hand
, people who spend more
time
 at their jobs are more likely to face social and physical issues. To illustrate, they spend less
time
 with family and
thus
, create a gap between parents and sons because of less communication. A growing body of research suggests that there is a correlation between parents' working hours and their relationship with their kids, the more they leave home for
work
, the more they suffer with their children.
Moreover
, employees' physical health can be affected by working for long hours.
For instance
, IT employees have a higher chance of having physical issues
due to
 sitting daily for a long
time
 on disks. In conclusion,
although
 there are some good sides to spending more
time
 at
work
,
also
 it has some drawbacks.
Submitted by abdallah.j1989 on

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supported main points
Ensure that your essay supports each point with specific examples, providing more depth to your arguments.
relevant specific examples
Include a wider range of examples to support your ideas, making sure they are directly relevant to the question prompt.
logical structure
Be consistent with the logical flow of your essay to maintain coherence throughout.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction and conclusion are present and well-structured, but make sure every sentence in them counts towards progressing your argument.
clear comprehensive ideas
While you covered the task response adequately, aim to develop your ideas further and provide a more in-depth analysis of the topic.
complete response
You've provided a complete response to the task, but try to explore the task instructions in more depth for an even stronger engagement with the question.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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