some people believe that the extinction of animals is a natural process and human should not intervene. Do you agree or disagree?

Since the past decade , numerous animals and birds have been wiped off the surface of the earth. Some people think that

this

due to

an environmental process and the human race should not take any measures to control

this

. I am of the opinion , that people should prevent

this

from happening because an effort from mankind would be beneficial , and protecting wildlife has several economic benefits. I believe that steps taken in the right direction can help prevent several creatures from becoming extinct because

this

is not entirely a natural phenomenon . First of all, governmental bodies can create a database of animals , which are currently facing endangerment and put in the effort to preserve these species.

This

can be done by strengthening laws and severely penalizing poachers.

Furthermore

, deforestation could be curtailed ,

this

might help in maintaining the natural habitats of numerous creatures.

For instance

, it was noticed that by preventing the excessive felling of trees in the mangrove region of West Bengal, there was an increase in the tiger population.

Hence

, help from humans is instrumental in decreasing the impact of

this

alarming problem.

Moreover

, protecting species which are on the verge of

getting

Verb problem

becoming

show examples

extinct has certain financial benefits. Zoos and sanctuaries which house

such

creatures attract a lot of tourists.

This

creates new job opportunities for people and boosts the economy.

For example

, many foreigners visit the Ranthambore National Park during the summer season,

this

helps a plethora of local businesses prosper. Protecting wildlife is vital. In conclusion, certain measures adopted by governments and citizens can help preserve disappearing wild animals , and these actions have a positive effect on the national economy.

Therefore

, I believe that essential steps should be taken to prevent the extinction of wildlife.

Submitted by divkapadia on Mon Nov 07 2022

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that each body paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that the ideas are logically connected throughout the essay.

task achievement

Provide more specific examples and data to support your points. You might also consider addressing counter-arguments to strengthen your argument.

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

297 words

7.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that a country will benefit greatly by a high percentage of young people going to universities. Others argue that it only leads to a higher unemployment rate. Discuss both viewpoints and give your own opinion.

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Some people say that the main aim of advertising is to improve the sales of products that people do not really need. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In many cities,many people are living in large apartments blocks.Does this accommodation have more advantages and disadvantages.