IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Nowadays people use bicycles less as a form of transport. Why is this the case? What can we do to encourage people to use bicycles more?

#people #bicycles #form #transport #case
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Transport
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 is used for developing the country's economy and
also
Linking Words
 it is a basic need for
people
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. Many
people
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 benefit from
transport
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 so, their
bicycle
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 usage number is reduced.
People
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 are to be encouraged to
use
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 the
bicycle
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 in future.
Transport
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 is used to
travel
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 for long distances and
people
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 will not get tired of using
transport
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 because the travelling vehicle can carry a huge load for a long period of time. But, a
bicycle
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 cannot carry
such
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 a huge load and it needs human strength to pedal it and the person who carrying the load needs to take a break every half an hour.
Transport
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vehicles
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 can carry many
people
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 but
bicycles
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 cannot carry more than 2
people
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. So, many
people
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 using
bicycles
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 are converted to
vehicles
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 because of their family members and they have to maintain their
vehicles
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 properly before their
travel
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 sometimes they
use
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 a car, bus, train and aeroplane for their
travel
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. Using
bicycles
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 can lead
people
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 to reduce their weight and helps to tighten their muscles and
this
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 makes them lead a healthy life in society by seeing them
people
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 are motivated to
use
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bicycles
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 and
also
Linking Words
 society will become eco-friendly for
everyone
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. The
bicycle
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 is easily affordable by
everyone
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 in
this
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 society and the maintenance is very low having a
bicycle
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 in the home means the children are interested in riding the
bicycle
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 at a young age
this
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 habit will easily be passed on to the next generation to
use
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 a
bicycle
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.
Bicycle
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use
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 is getting reduced because
everyone
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 likes to have a luxury vehicle in their house but having a
bicycle
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 means
everyone
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's mind will think cheaper because they think what
everyone
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 thinks about us large
vehicles
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 are safe to
travel
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 but in future no one will know about the
bicycle
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.
Submitted by insighttribez on

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task achievement
Your task response is generally good, as you have addressed both parts of the question. However, you could enhance your response by providing more concrete examples and exploring the points in greater depth.
coherence cohesion
While your ideas are mostly clear, try to organize them more effectively. For instance, separate the reasons why bicycle use has decreased from the benefits and solutions you propose. This will help make your essay more coherent.
coherence cohesion
To improve your coherence and cohesion, use more connecting words and phrases, such as 'furthermore,' 'moreover,' 'in addition,' and 'consequently.' This will help link your ideas more smoothly.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which is important for structuring your response.
task achievement
You have mentioned several relevant points and potential solutions related to the use of bicycles, showing a good understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • sustainable transport
  • cycling infrastructure
  • bike lanes
  • bike-sharing programs
  • traffic calming measures
  • commute
  • subsidies
  • physical exertion
  • environmental benefits
  • safety regulations
What to do next:
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