IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2

Large business have big budgets for marketing and promotion and as a result, people gravitate towards buying their products. What problems does this cause? What could be done to encourage people to buy local products?

#business #budgets #promotion #people #gravitate #products
These days people with big businesses spend a
lot
 of money
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 advertising and making awareness of their products which results in having a
lot
 of customers.
Moreover
Add a comma
,Moreover
show examples
 I will like to state some
effect
Fix the agreement mistake
effects
show examples
 it might have due to popular demands.
firstly
 an increase in demand will lead to fast production a
lot
 of times the quality might not be good because they are trying to meet up with
customers
Change noun form
customers'
customer's
show examples
 orders.
secondly
Add a comma
,secondly
show examples
 if the company don't have enough manpower the
staffs
Fix the agreement mistake
staff
show examples
 might do overnight jobs which is dangerous to their health
for example
 during COVID since there was a
lot
 of demand
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
mask
Add an article
a mask
the mask
show examples
 and it was reported that a
lot
 of people working at
mask making
Add a hyphen
mask-making
show examples
 companies fell ill due to overtime and less quality were produced leading to more spread of the virus due to bad mask. I think the solution to patronizing the locals will be good packing some products
don't
Correct pronoun usage
that don't
show examples
 look appealing to the eyes good rebranding and
also
 doing
Add a hyphen
e-commerce
show examples
e commerce
Add a hyphen
e-commerce
show examples
 like creating
an online shops
Correct the article-noun agreement
an online shop
online shops
show examples
 where people can buy from.letting them know these
locally made
Add a hyphen
locally-made
show examples
 products are made with love,care and respect
Submitted by babalolaelizabethpelumi on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: