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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Obesity is now a major global epidemic. What can be done to tackle this increasingly common problem?

#obesity #epidemic
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Nowadays, one of the global issues that young and elderly people face is
obesity
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. It may be either due to
time
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 spent sitting in front of a net or following a diet. Apart from the causes of ,
obesity
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 it has adverse effects on the community
that is
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 suffering from it. To solve
this
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 issue, suggested limiting screen
time
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 and avoiding junk food.
First
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 of all, keep track of the
time
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, that children spend watching TV. offspring do not know the
time
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, which should be spent watching television, and because of
this
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parents
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 have to restrict their
time
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, spent in front of the screen.
Also
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,
parents
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 should try to spend more
time
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 outside with their children, as
isit
Correct your spelling
it
 beneficial for both sides. Walking on a regular basis will keep fit in both age groups,
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
,however
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 at the same ,term
parents
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 should monitor the child's nutrition.
Last
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 but not the least, limit unhealthy foods in the household. If
parents
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 bring unhealthy foods into the household, children may be more likely to eat them. Even though, we all know about the negative impact of those foods, we could not avoid them because of their lip-smacking taste and delicious appearance. The truth behind
that is
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, used several aromas and artificial appearances, will malfunction our hormones and, probably, lead to
obesity
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. Avoiding
this
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 kind of product will keep people slim enough. In conclusion, restricting screen
time
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 and avoiding unhealthy food, will probably keep people fit. In my ,opinion the best way to reduce
obesity
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 in the world, is to follow a healthy diet from childhood. Because what diet scions follow from the beginning would have an impact on their health in future.
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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • epidemic
  • balanced diet
  • nutritional labeling
  • public recreational spaces
  • community sports programs
  • food advertising regulations
  • medical professionals
  • workplace wellness programs
  • mental health support
  • sugary drinks tax
  • consumer choices
  • affordable and accessible
  • health organizations
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