IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Some people believe that in order to reduce crimes, prisoners should be given longer prison sentences while some people think there are other alternative ways. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #crimes #prisoners #prison #sentences #alternative
It is thought to be that in order to control the number of cases, prisoners have to be locked for a longer period of time.
However
, others tend to think out of the box and find more effective ways to avoid the prisons being completely filled.
This
 essay will discuss both these points of view and argue in favour of the latter.  On the one hand, there is no doubt that the main purpose of prisons is to protect citizens from harmful people.
For instance
, people who have a tendency to kill individuals in a cold-blooded manner are advised to put them away for as many years as possible. The reason for their behaviour could be their past or even the damage to the brain.
Thus
, the longer they are kept in prisons the safer the world community would feel.
On the other hand
, not all crimes are advised to be taken into the same circumstance, so I would like to recommend introducing more creative and effective ways of punishing prisoners.
For example
, lawlessness like speeding or stealing clothes from shops should not be dealt with the same as killing people.
Also
, both should not be merged into the same sentences. So, one of the most common ways to punish them is to make them pay for what they did by dividing them into categories of crimes for the amount of money.
Furthermore
, it would make them think about their
next
 action. As a consequence, I would state my opinion that it is essential to punish them, but in a conscious way so that to lessen the number of the population who tend to do any type of crime and have a safer place for us and our generation to live in.
Submitted by aytbazar2005 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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