Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Nowadays,
due to
technological improvements, children spend hours on their mobile devices. The following essay will evaluate the reasons for
this
phenomenon and discuss why it has many damaging consequences. Software companies make engrossing apps which can attract most people , particularly juveniles.
As a result
, youngsters will be absorbed to spend all their time on these apps
instead
of socialising with other people or doing physical activities and without parental restriction it can be detrimental to their mental and physical
health
.
In other words
, parents should pay attention to their children's spent hours on smartphones.
However
, the Internet can be useful in many aspects, it can damage teens' social lives because they prefer to connect with others indirectly on social media rather than face-to-face connections and it creates many problematic issues for them.
In addition
, teenagers may encounter some criminal content which can destroy their psychological and mental
health
.
For instance
, Hogan Pual is a YouTuber who is well known for his violent
contents
Fix the agreement mistake
content
show examples
or for promoting drug consumption. Another negative aspect of non-restricted mobile use for juveniles is their
health
issue. Spending hours on cell phones makes children too lazy and all the time they tend to sit to do their tasks or even play games. Teenagers growing up in modern societies are not keen on physical games or doing sports so
this
sedentary lifestyle will be harmful to their
overall
health
and gradually causes many diseases.
To conclude
, parents should control their sons and daughters in using mobile devices in both spent time and content aspects because using smartphones excessively has detrimental impacts on youngsters' brains and physics.
Submitted by zahrahosseini1992 on

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coherence cohesion
To improve your score, make sure your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and be logically connected to the overall argument.
coherence cohesion
Use a variety of linking words and phrases to better connect your ideas and ensure the essay flows smoothly from one point to the next.
task achievement
Fully develop your main points with specific examples and explanations. Avoid general statements and provide concrete details to support your argument.
task achievement
Keep your writing focused on the prompt. Make sure that every paragraph contributes to your discussion of the reasons for children's smartphone usage and its positive or negative development.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • smartphones
  • usage
  • technology
  • accessibility
  • convenience
  • entertainment
  • gaming
  • social media
  • communication
  • educational resources
  • addiction
  • dependence
  • negative effects
  • physical health
  • mental health
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