Some people claim that public museums and art galleries will not be needed because people can see historical objects and works of arts by using a computer. Do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #museums #art #galleries #objects #works #arts #computer

No one can deny the fact of the importance of historical items and the art workplace for each country . Some individuals believe that no need for galleries and museums , they believe that technology gives them what they want to see . I agree with

this

opinion , and in

this

essay

Add an article

an essay

the essay

show examples

I will support my opinion with examples .

To begin

with , nowadays worldwide technology is advanced more than at any time before , we can read and see anything we request by only using our small smartphones.

Furthermore

, a few years ago we used to visit workplaces of arts the historical places over the world by travelling as tourists , but most people these days are satisfied with only seeing the old building via Youtube applications or others .

for example

, one of the most famous bloggers on Youtube his name is Ahmad ads ,he is using his channel to show people the places he had visited over the world , which led him to obtain more followers and more money , and ,watchers all are for free by an app. I believe in

this

opinion , why I need to see the ancient objects and pay for them despite I can see them for free on my phone .

on the other hand

Change the punctuation

apply

show examples

others believe that travelling and be as a tourist is an enjoyable time , and they like to pay for that .

In addition

, it is a kind of habit for some people to visit museums and galleries , taking a picture of those items and those artists .

Hence

, the traditional museum in Jordan is open monthly on Friday for free to

public

Add an article

the public

show examples

in order to increase awareness of their country's history and

consequently

encourage them to publish about its ancient objects . in conclusion , I believe that no need to visit closed places or arts workplaces in order to see the historical instruments or arts ,

however

; our technology is very developed and I can use it to watch and know about anything anywhere on

this

planet .

Submitted by munaagha89 on Sun Nov 13 2022

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

354 words

7.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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