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Band 7.5

Some people say that because many people are living much longer, the age at which people retire from work should be raised considerably. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #age #work
Certain individuals around the globe believe that the retirement age should raise dramatically
this
 is because an increasing number of people live longer compared to the past. I completely disagree with
this
 statement. The impending essay will discuss the same with a logical conclusion. Fortunately, there are multiple viable reasons regarding retiring in early life should not increase significantly due to longer life, To start with, the most negative impact is taking job opportunities from the younger community because experienced ones will stay in their positions for a long period of time resulting in a significant rise in jobless rate between new graduations.
For example
, the Times has announced that almost 80% of new graduations wait for many years to take a position in medical offices in Toronto.
Moreover
, if nations retire as soon as possible will contribute to taking trips around the world
this
 may lead to being far from the stress and pressure that they felt in the past causing them to be healthy and more importantly receiving a pension without working will be a good income for them.
For instance
,
this
 has been evidenced by the University of Toronto that 60% of withdrawal workers get 89% of their salary from the government in Qatar.
Additionally
, early time pullout may contribute people to spending time with their families causing family connection development significantly. In conclusion, some individuals argue that due to longer living the age at which residents retire from office must be increased fundamentally, in my perspective, increases in the amount rate of jobless and having journey are the viable reasons for not increasing the evacuation age.
Submitted by suhailjallalzadah on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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