Some people say that because many people are living much longer, the age at which people retire from work should be raised considerably. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Certain individuals around the globe believe that the retirement age should raise dramatically

this

is because an increasing number of people live longer compared to the past. I completely disagree with

this

statement. The impending essay will discuss the same with a logical conclusion. Fortunately, there are multiple viable reasons regarding retiring in early life should not increase significantly due to longer life, To start with, the most negative impact is taking job opportunities from the younger community because experienced ones will stay in their positions for a long period of time resulting in a significant rise in jobless rate between new graduations.

For example

, the Times has announced that almost 80% of new graduations wait for many years to take a position in medical offices in Toronto.

Moreover

, if nations retire as soon as possible will contribute to taking trips around the world

this

may lead to being far from the stress and pressure that they felt in the past causing them to be healthy and more importantly receiving a pension without working will be a good income for them.

For instance

this

has been evidenced by the University of Toronto that 60% of withdrawal workers get 89% of their salary from the government in Qatar.

Additionally

, early time pullout may contribute people to spending time with their families causing family connection development significantly. In conclusion, some individuals argue that due to longer living the age at which residents retire from office must be increased fundamentally, in my perspective, increases in the amount rate of jobless and having journey are the viable reasons for not increasing the evacuation age.

Submitted by suhailjallalzadah on Mon Nov 14 2022

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

270 words

7.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

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Some people say that because many people are living much longer, the age at which people retire from work should be raised considerably. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Many students find it difficult to concentrate or pay attention at school. What are the reasons? What could be done to solve this problem?

Some people fail at school but end up being successful in life. Who do you think so? What are the most important things to succeed?

The leaders of most organizations tend to be older people. However, some argue that younger people make better bosses. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

At present time the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults compared with the number of old people. Do the advantages of this situation is outweigh the disadvantages?