IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 1

some people believe that the extinction of animals is a natural process and human should not intervene. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #extinction #animals #process
This
 graphic shows changes in the
consumption
 of 3 food types between 1975 and 2000. Products are fruits, sugar and ice cream. Well, on
this
 graphic we see that
consumption
 of sugar had been
vdecreasing
Correct your spelling
decreasing
 from 1975 to 2000.
In
Change preposition
At
show examples
 the same time,
consumption
Correct article usage
the consumption
show examples
 of ice cream is slowly growing over
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
time. Fresh fruits have broken graphs. From 1975 to 1980 and from 1985 to nowadays it had been growing up, but from 80 to 85 it was decreasing. So, in my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
show examples
 everything growing up because
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of people has
growing
Change the verb form
grown
show examples
 up. And nowadays in
2022
Add a comma
,2022
show examples
 we have more than 8 billion people. And everybody needs food, so
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
this
 reason
consumption
 will
be grow
Change the verb form
grow
show examples
 up.
Submitted by dulskywork on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: