More and more wild animals are on the verge of extinction and others are on the endangered list. What are the reasons for this? What can be done to solve this problem? Problem and solution

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Nowadays tons of wild creatures are on the verge of extinction and others are
also
on the endangered list. The main cause of these is mankind and illicit hunting.
However
, including laws passed by the government and nationwide campaigns can solve
this
Problem.
To begin
with, overpopulation has
inflicted
Verb problem
caused
show examples
humans to encroach on land, which now mankind takes up more and more area and
due to
this
animals
lose their natural territories.
For instance
, in the deforestation of the Amazon, a total of 23 birds and other species were extinct.
Secondly
, illegal hunting is the other most prominent reason for animal cessation.
Moreover
, people hunt
animals
for recreational activities and for their skin.
For example
, most circuses are managed by wild
animals
. Some solutions can be tailored to improve the situation. First and foremost, including laws passed by the government in the parliament against unlawful hunting.
Then
it would restrict people from killing wild
animals
.Asian countries,
for example
, passed a law to protect the indigenous deer, and it helped to save native deer.
In addition
, the local authorities should launch nationwide campaigns to sensitise people about the importance of preserving wildlife, so that there can be an improvement in the number of younger ones. In conclusion, mankind and illegal hunting are the main
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
for
this
plunge in the wildlife population worldwide.
However
, the state passes laws and nationwide campaigns can solve
this
problem.
Submitted by samsulislam43.si on

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task response
Overall, the essay addresses the prompt effectively by discussing the reasons for the endangerment of wild animals and proposing solutions. Ensure to provide more depth in the explanation of each point to improve task response.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clear and well-presented. Work on enhancing the transition between paragraphs to improve coherence and cohesion further.
coherence and cohesion
Clear introduction and conclusion
task response
Use of relevant examples to support points

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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