In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. what do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?

Health
is a vital part of our lives. Factors affecting our
health
are either due to individual choices,
such
as eating healthy and working out
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
or due to structural causes whether it is easy or hard to get the necessary
health
care services. There are other factors, like genetics, low activity, and fitness, that together with increasing
level
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levels
show examples
of weight cause an increase in the
percent
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per cent
show examples
of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
obesity and its related
health
problems
. Fast
food
and its
Correct your spelling
availability
available
availabilty
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availability
all day
is
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are
show examples
one of the major causes of
Add a hyphen
health-related
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health related
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health-related
show examples
problems
,
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apply
show examples
because fast
food
contain
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contains
show examples
Correct your spelling
tremendous
tremendos
Correct your spelling
tremendous
amounts of calories and fats which have no
health
value rather than
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defeating
defeting
Correct your spelling
feeding
hunger. These excessive
caloris
Correct your spelling
calories
Correct your spelling
eventually
eventiualy
Correct your spelling
eventually
will be stored as fat in our bodies, which will cause significant
health
problems
to our bodies. According to a
Correct your spelling
research
reasearch
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research
conducted in
Europ
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Europe
show examples
and North Africa 75% of those who died because of atherosclerosis, the main
etiology
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aetiology
show examples
to
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of
show examples
their disease was
Correct your spelling
eating
show examples
eatings
Correct your spelling
eating
show examples
Correct your spelling
a lot
lot
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
of amount of fast
food
. Solving
this
problem require
Correct your spelling
a lot
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
of effort
specially
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especially
show examples
in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
awareness,
for example
teaching children the
important
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importance
show examples
of being healthy and
make
Wrong verb form
making
show examples
sure they understand it,
subsequently
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,subsequently
show examples
this
will increase the chance of them being
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
healthy person.
Also
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,Also
show examples
we must add
another
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
taxes to the fast
food
Correct your spelling
restaurants
resturents
Correct your spelling
restaurants
and it will be directed to make training
area
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areas
show examples
and gyms.
Moreover
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,Moreover
show examples
the
Correct your spelling
government
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
should
Correct your spelling
encourage
incourge
Correct your spelling
encourage
healthy foods business and support them. In conclusion, obesity and lower physical activity and fitness are major
problems
in our society. The major cause of obesity is eating fast
food
and to solve these
problems
we need to
Correct your spelling
increase
incease
Correct your spelling
increase
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
awareness and increase taxes
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fast
food
Correct your spelling
restaurants
resturants
Correct your spelling
restaurants
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and support the healthy foods business.
Submitted by malikdahmed on

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • sedentary
  • obesity
  • overweight
  • physical activity
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • exercise
  • unhealthy diet
  • fast food
  • urbanization
  • modernization
  • stress
  • awareness
  • education
  • government intervention
  • policies
  • promotion
  • sports
  • fitness programs
  • health education
  • taxation
  • public transportation
  • infrastructure
  • parks
  • recreational spaces
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