The growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the health care system. Some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in school curriculum to what extinct do you agree?

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Owing to the problems which a growing population of overweight people cause for the
health
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care system, some people think that the key to solving these issues is to have more
sport
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and exercise in schools. In my opinion, I completely agree that
this
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is the best way to tackle the issue of deteriorating public
health
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in relation to weight.
Firstly
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, dealing with the issues surrounding obesity and weight problems is best solved by taking a
long term
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long-term
show examples
approach and introducing more
sport
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and exercise in school.
This
Linking Words
method will ensure that the next generation will be healthier and will not have
such
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health
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problems. At the moment, the average child in the West does
sport
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possibly twice a week, which is not enough to counteract their
otherwise
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sedentary lifestyle.
However
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, by incorporating more sports classes into the curriculum
as well as
Linking Words
encouraging extracurricular sports activities, they will undoubtedly become fitter and more active. Another point to consider is that having more sports lessons for
children
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in schools will probably result in
children
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developing an interest in exercise which might filter through to other members of their family and have a
longer lasting
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longer-lasting
show examples
effect. In other words, parents with sporty
children
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are more likely to get involved in
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sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
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as a way of encouraging their
children
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. By both parents and
children
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being involved, it will ensure that
children
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grow up to incorporate
sport
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into their daily lives.
This
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is certainly a natural and lasting way to improve public
health
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. In conclusion, to deal with an increasing population of unfit, overweight people, changing the lifestyle of the coming generation by introducing
sport
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in schools is the easiest and most effective method to use.
Submitted by shovog375 on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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