IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that students should play more team sports, such as football and volleyball, rather than individual sports, such as running and swimming. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #students #team #sports #football #volleyball
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•Few individuals point out
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students
Correct word choice
that students
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 should try more
team
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 sports
for example
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 football and volleyball
instead
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 of personality games
such
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 as jogging and swimming.
This
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 essay agrees that
,
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apply
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 the majority
individuals
Change preposition
of individuals
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 point out
students
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 playing with their close
people
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.
First
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 of all, it helps to work together harmoniously as a
team
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.
Second
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 of
all
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,all
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 it is the best way to learn to
support
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 each other in times of trouble. •On the one hand, there are
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
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many benefits of
students
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 playing with each other on a
team
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 rather
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then
Replace the word
than
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 playing with themselves, because the majority of pupils how to be friendly and
harmoniously
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harmonious
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 with their friends and
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this
Correct determiner usage
these
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 sports are playing and in these sports,
students
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 play as teams, with six to twelve
students
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 per
team
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.  If the
team
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 members want to win the competition, they must learn to get along and understand each other. 
For example
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, basketball is a similar game, and our school has a basketball
team
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, and I am a representative of that
team
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, and we understand each other unconditionally and
support
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 each other, so our
team
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 does not lose. •
On the other hand
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, if pupils play with many
people
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 on the
team
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, it helps them how to know
people
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 without any words and to understand
of
Change preposition
apply
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other
people
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 easily and to
support
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 each other all the time.
For example
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, the players of our football
team
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 are always successful because they always
support
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 each other and never blame each other. •In conclusion, all parents should enable their children to play on a
team
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. For their children to deal with many
people
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 the fire, every child can save his loved ones
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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