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Some people think that students should play more team sports, such as football and volleyball, rather than individual sports, such as running and swimming. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #students #team #sports #football #volleyball
•Few individuals point out
students
Correct word choice
that students
show examples
 should try more
team
 sports
for example
 football and volleyball
instead
 of personality games
such
 as jogging and swimming.
This
 essay agrees that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 the majority
individuals
Change preposition
of individuals
show examples
 point out
students
 playing with their close
people
.
First
 of all, it helps to work together harmoniously as a
team
.
Second
 of
all
Add a comma
,all
show examples
 it is the best way to learn to
support
 each other in times of trouble. •On the one hand, there are
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
many benefits of
students
 playing with each other on a
team
 rather
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
 playing with themselves, because the majority of pupils how to be friendly and
harmoniously
Change the word
harmonious
show examples
 with their friends and
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 sports are playing and in these sports,
students
 play as teams, with six to twelve
students
 per
team
.  If the
team
 members want to win the competition, they must learn to get along and understand each other. 
For example
, basketball is a similar game, and our school has a basketball
team
, and I am a representative of that
team
, and we understand each other unconditionally and
support
 each other, so our
team
 does not lose. •
On the other hand
, if pupils play with many
people
 on the
team
, it helps them how to know
people
 without any words and to understand
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
other
people
 easily and to
support
 each other all the time.
For example
, the players of our football
team
 are always successful because they always
support
 each other and never blame each other. •In conclusion, all parents should enable their children to play on a
team
. For their children to deal with many
people
 the fire, every child can save his loved ones
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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