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Band 7

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

#children #hours #smartphones #case #development
It is true that the younger generation has become addicted to
smartphones
. While there are a series of reasons causing
this
 situation, in my opinion, its disadvantage overweights the benefits. I think many factors contribute to
this
 serious problem.
First
, parents have no adequate
time
 to spend on their
children
 because of the high work pressure on adults.
Instead
 of accompanying
children
 , parents prefer to leave their
children
 with
smartphones
.
Second
, teachers regard the internet as a necessary teaching aid, so they assign more tasks that need to be completed on phones which provides their
students
 with opportunities to use
smartphones
.
Third
, some websites or applications constantly offer attractive contents which are addictive to young people. The interaction these reasons,
students
 spend more
time
 on
smartphones
. In terms of physical health and social abilities as well as other aspects of negative impact, I believe it is not a positive development when
children
 lost themselves in their
smartphones
. It is obvious that too much online
time
 will lead to a lack of physical exercise and socialising for
students
.
For example
,
students
 play video games
instead
 of going out to enjoy real teamwork sports
such
 as football and basketball. Their physical energy will become weak and contract different health problems
such
 as obesity.
Moreover
, long screen
time
 is bad for their eyesight. The number of teenagers with eye problems is increasing all over the world. To sum up, not a single factor attribute to
this
 serious problem. I believe
that is
 not a good trend.
Submitted by 535911488 on

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Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • smartphones
  • usage
  • technology
  • accessibility
  • convenience
  • entertainment
  • gaming
  • social media
  • communication
  • educational resources
  • addiction
  • dependence
  • negative effects
  • physical health
  • mental health
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