These days, too many people maintain their health by relying on doctors and medicine, rather than by following a healthy lifestyle. To what extent do you agree with this statement

#people #health #doctors #medicine #lifestyle

It is not exaggerated that

people

nowadays are dependent on

doctors

and medical achievements

instead

of maintaining a healthy

lifestyle

including eating healthy food, doing regular exercises, and so forth. In my opinion, even though I see the points about why

people

seem to ignore their well-being life long benefits, I couldn’t agree more with the suggestion that everyone should actively take responsibility for their health.

People

rely on

doctors

and medicine to keep themselves healthy. The main reason for

this

is that they don't have enough effort to follow a healthy routine;

for instance

, eating nutritious meals. To be more precise,

people

, especially workaholics, do not have any time to plan the scientific daily routine

that is

supposed to be relevant to their life

although

they know more than anyone else that “An apple a day keeps the doctor away”.

Besides

, being busy and working long hours make them unwilling to start the new daily routine with frequent exercise.

Furthermore

, nutritious and high-quality ingredients are luxurious and expensive so they cannot afford those. Scientifically annalizing, research has shown that

people

will be affected by diseases to a greater extent easily providing that they do not follow a healthy

lifestyle

. To illustrate, eating a large amount of fat can make

people

gain weight, which leads to high pressure and a myriad of severe ailments.

In addition

, relying on

doctors

and medical so much is not a good idea for

people

's health. One can see that prevention is better than cure since making use of medicine excessively results in an overdose.

Last

but not least,

people

should maintain living a moderated

lifestyle

to lead a fruitful later life and avoid depending on

doctors

and medical immoderately. In inclusion,

people

should have the awareness of their health by living a healthy

lifestyle

and limiting their dependence on medical assistance since it might be costly and not healthy for their bodies.

Submitted by jakelong16091994 on Thu Dec 01 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

318 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?
It is true that we are living in a modern era in which the phenomena of globalization have been more ubiquitous than ever before. Through the development of science and technology, the general populace can also improve the quality of their life and longevity. That leads to an aging population. The economic and social impact of population aging is extremely crucial. That's why, many people in some countries prevent it, resulting in an increase in a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Thus, It has lots of advantages. In this essay, I'm going to explain fully about the details.
6
band
some people think that humans can use animals in any way for their own benefits. others, however, believe that people should not use animals in the wrong way. discuss both this views and give your own opinion.
The utilization of animals as commodities has sparked a heated argument between those who believe that it is in our nature to make the most usage out of it no matter how the process may look like and those who believe certain standards should be imposed when it comes to it. I would say that the latter provides the best argument considering the fact that as a human it is our moral responsibility to encourage ethical practice.
4
band
Some people believe that animal should be allowed to be eaten and experimented on while other think they have equal right as human being, discuss both views and your opinion.
Many people have been supporting the idea that animals should be eaten by people and experimented on by industries, but others advocate that animals must have some rights just like humans. However, this topic is a little bit uncomfortable to talk about for many reasons, such as people`s religion, culture and beliefs. To support both thoughts I`m going to bring up some good pieces of information in this essay.
5
band
Although more and more people use public transport, some city streets are still overcrowded with traffic. How can this problem be solved? Provide specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.
In this day and time, transportation is imperative and necessary in everyday life. Though, many individuals use common transportation , it has not solved the problem of many people on the streets and roads. I believe ,it is an ongoing process and necessary rules and regulations must implemented inorder resolve this issue. I will discuss this notion in the upcoming paragraphs.
5
band
Some people say governments should give priority to health care, while others believe that taxpayers’ money should be spent on other important priorities. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
How taxpayers' money is used by the government is a hot social topic.Some of people point out that health care should be developed firstly,while others hold the idea that government should pay for other significant priorities.This essay will discuss these two different viewpoints.

These days, too many people maintain their health by relying on doctors and medicine, rather than by following a healthy lifestyle. To what extent do you agree with this statement

Include an introduction and conclusion

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

some people think that humans can use animals in any way for their own benefits. others, however, believe that people should not use animals in the wrong way. discuss both this views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that animal should be allowed to be eaten and experimented on while other think they have equal right as human being, discuss both views and your opinion.

Although more and more people use public transport, some city streets are still overcrowded with traffic. How can this problem be solved? Provide specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

Some people say governments should give priority to health care, while others believe that taxpayers’ money should be spent on other important priorities. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.