At the present time, the popualtion of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

#time #popualtion #countries #adults #people #situation

Although

in many

countries

the percentage of elderly

people

is much higher than the percentage of young

people

, there are

Correct your spelling

certain

show examples

curtain

Correct your spelling

certain

show examples

countries

where it is the other way around. Is having

less

Correct quantifier usage

fewer

show examples

older

people

something every country should strive for or not?

To begin

with, the advantages of the type of

population

where there are more young citizens are quite obvious.

Firstly

, in these

countries

Add a comma

,countries

show examples

there are far more working citizens. In regards,

this

helps the economy of the

Correct your spelling

nation

nacion

Correct your spelling

nation

grow.

Secondly

, in these situations,

countries

have a bigger amount of reproductive adults.

This

makes the

population

grow significantly.

For example

, in Serbia every year more

people

die in

Correct your spelling

comparison

compareson

Correct your spelling

comparison

to the

amount

Change the quantifier

number

show examples

of kids born.

This

means that the

population

is decreasing rapidly, which makes elderly

people

dominant.

Lastly

, less money is spent if there are more young

people

Correct article usage

the

show examples

population

Correct your spelling

because

becouse

Correct your spelling

because

they do not need

such

medical

Correct your spelling

attention

attencion

Correct your spelling

attention

as elderly

people

This

can save up money for more important things

such

as bettering the school system.

On the other hand

, the possible reason behind having these kinds of populations is that they are not living a healthy

Correct your spelling

lifestyle

show examples

life style

Correct your spelling

lifestyle

show examples

and

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probably

Add a missing verb

are probbably

show examples

probbably

Correct your spelling

probably

living in poverty. For

this

reason

Add a comma

,reason

show examples

people

are not able to live too long.

This

indicates that the

life

Replace the word

living

show examples

conditions are not too good, which is something that should try to be changed. To conclude,

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

reason of having a better economy and expanding

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society ,

advantages

Correct article usage

the advantages

show examples

outweigh the

Correct your spelling

disadvantages

disadvanages

Correct your spelling

disadvantages

of having a more young

population

Submitted by sofija.perzic on Thu Dec 01 2022

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
27Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

251 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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At the present time, the popualtion of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Your opinion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this massage?

Spending money on luxury items or special occasions is very expensive. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people believe that professional workers such as doctors and teachers should be paid more than sports and entertainment personalities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people feel that entertainers (e.g., film stars, pop musicians or sport stars) are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? which other types of job should be highly paid?

Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?