Obesity is a problem especially in rich Countries. What causes it and how can it be solved?

#obesity #countries

These days in developed nations,

overweight

Add a missing verb

being overweight

show examples

is becoming a serious issue.

This

comes in

as a result

of eating too much junk

food

and living a sedentary lifestyle and

this

can be managed by exercising at

gym

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the gym

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and increasing charges on fast

food

Correct your spelling

companies

campanies

Correct your spelling

companies

. One of the reasons why people are having excess weight is because they enjoy buying quick

food

That is

to say, these types of meals contain a lot of sugar and carbohydrates which

builds

Correct subject-verb agreement

build

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up the body

thus

gaining more weight. A

second

reason is living a

luxury

Replace the word

luxurious

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life which doesn't allow them to exercise or do any hard work. If

this

happens, it causes

Correct article usage

apply

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peace of mind which

let's

Replace the word

lets

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parents or children

build-up

Correct your spelling

build up

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more kilograms.

For example

, in

United

Correct article usage

the United

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Kingdom

Add a comma

,Kingdom

show examples

there are a lot of men and women who face

Correct article usage

the

show examples

challenge of weighing a lot of kilograms

as a result

of consuming sugary snacks. One of the solutions to these issues is raising the charges

sugary

Change preposition

for sugary

show examples

businesses.

In other words

, if more bills are charged

Change preposition

show examples

quick

food

Correct your spelling

companies

campanies

Correct your spelling

companies

, the managers will

also

increase their

selling

Replace the word

sales

show examples

prices and few customers will come around or the number of times they buy will decrease.

Furthermore

, the government should

also

encourage families to

Correct your spelling

exercise

execrise

Correct your spelling

exercise

more frequently as a team and

this

will not only improve their health but

also

leave them happy.

For instance

, in

Correct your spelling

United

Uinted

Correct article usage

the Uinted

show examples

states, all students are encouraged to participate in any sport of their choice in order to fight obesity. In conclusion, enjoying luxury life and eating too much junk

food

has caused more weight but the good news is there is a solution.

Submitted by jmeeme5 on Fri Dec 02 2022

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

272 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Obesity is a problem especially in rich Countries. What causes it and how can it be solved?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Schools should focus on academic success and passing examinations. Skills such as cookery, dressmaking and woodwork should not be taught at school as it is better to learn these from family and friends. To that extent do you agree or disagree.

Your friend is coming to your country from abroad, but you can't go to pick him up at the airport. Write a letter to him/her and say -why you can't pick him up -suggest alternative ideas -talk about what he can do in your country

In many countries, a small number of people earn extremely high salaries. Some people believe that this is good for the country, but others think that governments should not allow salaries above a certain level. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

In some countries today, people are having their first child when they are older. What are the reasons for this? Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

In many countries, paying for things using mobile phone app is becoming increasingly common. Does these development have more advantages or disadvantages?