Obesity is a problem especially in rich Countries. What causes it and how can it be solved?

#obesity #countries

These days in developed nations,

overweight

Add a missing verb

being overweight

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is becoming a serious issue.

This

comes in

as a result

of eating too much junk

food

and living a sedentary lifestyle and

this

can be managed by exercising at

gym

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the gym

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and increasing charges on fast

food

Correct your spelling

companies

campanies

Correct your spelling

companies

. One of the reasons why people are having excess weight is because they enjoy buying quick

food

That is

to say, these types of meals contain a lot of sugar and carbohydrates which

builds

Correct subject-verb agreement

build

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up the body

thus

gaining more weight. A

second

reason is living a

luxury

Replace the word

luxurious

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life which doesn't allow them to exercise or do any hard work. If

this

happens, it causes

Correct article usage

apply

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peace of mind which

let's

Replace the word

lets

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parents or children

build-up

Correct your spelling

build up

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more kilograms.

For example

, in

United

Correct article usage

the United

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Kingdom

Add a comma

,Kingdom

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there are a lot of men and women who face

Correct article usage

the

show examples

challenge of weighing a lot of kilograms

as a result

of consuming sugary snacks. One of the solutions to these issues is raising the charges

sugary

Change preposition

for sugary

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businesses.

In other words

, if more bills are charged

Change preposition

show examples

quick

food

Correct your spelling

companies

campanies

Correct your spelling

companies

, the managers will

also

increase their

selling

Replace the word

sales

show examples

prices and few customers will come around or the number of times they buy will decrease.

Furthermore

, the government should

also

encourage families to

Correct your spelling

exercise

execrise

Correct your spelling

exercise

more frequently as a team and

this

will not only improve their health but

also

leave them happy.

For instance

, in

Correct your spelling

United

Uinted

Correct article usage

the Uinted

show examples

states, all students are encouraged to participate in any sport of their choice in order to fight obesity. In conclusion, enjoying luxury life and eating too much junk

food

has caused more weight but the good news is there is a solution.

Submitted by jmeeme5 on Fri Dec 02 2022

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

272 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Obesity is a problem especially in rich Countries. What causes it and how can it be solved?

It is sometimes said that countries should produce all the food for their populations to eat and import as little as possible. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In many professional sports, there is an increase in the number of athletes using banned substances. What are the causes of this phonomenon and what are the some of possible solution

some believe that government should ban dangerous sports while other argue that there should be freed to do any sports or activity

Many children have unsupervised access to the internet and are using the internet to socialize with others. This can lead to a number of dangerous situations that can be threatening for children. What problems do children face when going online without parental supervision. How can these be tackled

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.