Obesity is a problem especially in rich Countries. What causes it and how can it be solved?

#obesity #countries

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These days in developed nations,

overweight

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being overweight

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is becoming a serious issue.

This

Linking Words

comes in

as a result

Linking Words

of eating too much junk

food

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and living a sedentary lifestyle and

this

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can be managed by exercising at

gym

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the gym

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and increasing charges on fast

food

Use synonyms

Correct your spelling

companies

campanies

Correct your spelling

companies

. One of the reasons why people are having excess weight is because they enjoy buying quick

food

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That is

Linking Words

to say, these types of meals contain a lot of sugar and carbohydrates which

builds

Correct subject-verb agreement

build

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up the body

thus

Linking Words

gaining more weight. A

second

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reason is living a

luxury

Replace the word

luxurious

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life which doesn't allow them to exercise or do any hard work. If

this

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happens, it causes

Correct article usage

apply

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peace of mind which

let's

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lets

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parents or children

build-up

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build up

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more kilograms.

For example

Linking Words

, in

United

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the United

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Kingdom

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,Kingdom

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there are a lot of men and women who face

Correct article usage

the

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challenge of weighing a lot of kilograms

as a result

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of consuming sugary snacks. One of the solutions to these issues is raising the charges

sugary

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for sugary

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businesses.

In other words

Linking Words

, if more bills are charged

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show examples

quick

food

Use synonyms

Correct your spelling

companies

campanies

Correct your spelling

companies

, the managers will

also

Linking Words

increase their

selling

Replace the word

sales

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prices and few customers will come around or the number of times they buy will decrease.

Furthermore

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, the government should

also

Linking Words

encourage families to

Correct your spelling

exercise

execrise

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exercise

more frequently as a team and

this

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will not only improve their health but

also

Linking Words

leave them happy.

For instance

Linking Words

, in

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United

Uinted

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the Uinted

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states, all students are encouraged to participate in any sport of their choice in order to fight obesity. In conclusion, enjoying luxury life and eating too much junk

food

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has caused more weight but the good news is there is a solution.

Submitted by jmeeme5 on Fri Dec 02 2022

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

272 words

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Obesity is a problem especially in rich Countries. What causes it and how can it be solved?

Some people claim that not enough of waste from homesbis recycled. They say that the only way to increase recycling is for governments to make it a legal requirement. To what extent do you think laws are needed to make people recycle more of their waste.

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

it is difficult for people in cities to fet enough physical excercise. what are the causes and solutions?