Obesity is a problem especially in rich Countries. What causes it and how can it be solved?

These days in developed nations,

overweight

Add a missing verb

being overweight

show examples

is becoming a serious issue.

This

Linking Words

comes in

as a result

Linking Words

of eating too much junk

food

Use synonyms

and living a sedentary lifestyle and

this

Linking Words

can be managed by exercising at

gym

Add an article

the gym

show examples

and increasing charges on fast

food

Use synonyms

Correct your spelling

companies

campanies

Correct your spelling

companies

. One of the reasons why people are having excess weight is because they enjoy buying quick

food

Use synonyms

That is

Linking Words

to say, these types of meals contain a lot of sugar and carbohydrates which

builds

Correct subject-verb agreement

build

show examples

up the body

thus

Linking Words

gaining more weight. A

second

Linking Words

reason is living a

luxury

Replace the word

luxurious

show examples

life which doesn't allow them to exercise or do any hard work. If

this

Linking Words

happens, it causes

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

peace of mind which

let's

Replace the word

lets

show examples

parents or children

build-up

Correct your spelling

build up

show examples

more kilograms.

For example

Linking Words

, in

United

Correct article usage

the United

show examples

Kingdom

Add a comma

,Kingdom

show examples

there are a lot of men and women who face

Correct article usage

the

show examples

challenge of weighing a lot of kilograms

as a result

Linking Words

of consuming sugary snacks. One of the solutions to these issues is raising the charges

sugary

Change preposition

for sugary

show examples

businesses.

In other words

Linking Words

, if more bills are charged

Change preposition

show examples

quick

food

Use synonyms

Correct your spelling

companies

campanies

Correct your spelling

companies

, the managers will

also

Linking Words

increase their

selling

Replace the word

sales

show examples

prices and few customers will come around or the number of times they buy will decrease.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, the government should

also

Linking Words

encourage families to

Correct your spelling

exercise

execrise

Correct your spelling

exercise

more frequently as a team and

this

Linking Words

will not only improve their health but

also

Linking Words

leave them happy.

For instance

Linking Words

, in

Correct your spelling

United

Uinted

Correct article usage

the Uinted

show examples

states, all students are encouraged to participate in any sport of their choice in order to fight obesity. In conclusion, enjoying luxury life and eating too much junk

food

Use synonyms

has caused more weight but the good news is there is a solution.

jmeeme5

Dec 2, 2022

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

272 words

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Obesity is a problem especially in rich Countries. What causes it and how can it be solved?

Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Many people around the world use social media everyday to keep in touch with other people and get news events. Do you think the advantanges outweigh the disadvamtages?

Last month you had an overseas holiday with some friends where you stayed at their house. They have just sent you some holiday photos. Write a letter to your friends. In your letter: thank them for the holiday and the photos invite them to come and stay with you

Many people today are worried about the large quantities of waste produced by ordinary households. What problems are caused by household waste, and what solutions may be possible in both the short and the long term?

film reviews wanted Have you seen a really exciting film recently, at the cinema or on TV? write a review describing it and saying why you would recommend it to other people of your age