IN SOME COUNTRIES MORE AND MORE ADULTS ARE CONTINUING TO LIVE WITH PARENTS EVEN AFTER COMPLETING THEIR EDUCATION AND GETTING JOBS. DO THE ADVANTAGES OUTWIEGH DISADVANTAGES

#countries #adults #parents #education #jobs #outwiegh

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this

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day and age, the vast majority of elders are still dwelling with their

parents

Use synonyms

ignoring the factors of completing education and receiving occupation. Personally, I consider that the drawbacks of

this

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issue is outperforms the advantages. In the forthcoming ,paragraph

this

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essay is going to discuss its reasons with relevant examples.

First

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of all, the main drawback of the current issue is depriving independent an individual.

In other words

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, the grown-up individual could not learn the ropes of self-sufficiency

such

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as housework, cooking skills, laundry and etc.

Consequently

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, they mature slowly but surely becoming a child

instead

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of maturing as independent people. A bright future pinned with

Correct article usage

show examples

well-paid

job

Fix the agreement mistake

jobs

show examples

and possessions would not be achieved by an adult since he will not gain useful experience gained because of obstacles faced in independent life.

For example

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, the recent news from BBC clearly depicted the countries of mature living with their guardian. Precisely, Kazakhstan showed the highest result of both not freedom and poor grown individuals.

Furthermore

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, the vast majority of the elderly could be vulnerable to complicated obstacles occurred in life. To be more precise, in most cases many problems faced by mature dwelling with their

parents

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are usually tackled by their

parents

Use synonyms

Consequently

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, they are not gaining any paramount experience that could be used in tackling issues and making

a proper decisions

Correct the article-noun agreement

a proper decision

proper decisions

show examples

That is

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why the drawback entirely outdoes the pros. In conclusion, due to depriving independence and not gaining experience in solving problems the disadvantages of dwelling with

parents

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the disadvantages completely outweigh the advantages.

Submitted by argyn-34 on Wed Dec 07 2022

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9
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

258 words

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IN SOME COUNTRIES MORE AND MORE ADULTS ARE CONTINUING TO LIVE WITH PARENTS EVEN AFTER COMPLETING THEIR EDUCATION AND GETTING JOBS. DO THE ADVANTAGES OUTWIEGH DISADVANTAGES

Schools should focus on academic success and passing examinations. Skills such as cookery, dressmaking and woodwork should not be taught at school as it is better to learn these from family and friends. To that extent do you agree or disagree.

Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people think the government should provide free education in all levels. Others argue that university students should pay for their education. Discuss both views.

Some people think the money spent on developing technology for space exploration is not justified. There are more beneficial ways to spend this money. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.