IN SOME COUNTRIES MORE AND MORE ADULTS ARE CONTINUING TO LIVE WITH PARENTS EVEN AFTER COMPLETING THEIR EDUCATION AND GETTING JOBS. DO THE ADVANTAGES OUTWIEGH DISADVANTAGES

#countries #adults #parents #education #jobs #outwiegh

this

day and age, the vast majority of elders are still dwelling with their

parents

ignoring the factors of completing education and receiving occupation. Personally, I consider that the drawbacks of

this

issue is outperforms the advantages. In the forthcoming ,paragraph

this

essay is going to discuss its reasons with relevant examples.

First

of all, the main drawback of the current issue is depriving independent an individual.

In other words

, the grown-up individual could not learn the ropes of self-sufficiency

such

as housework, cooking skills, laundry and etc.

Consequently

, they mature slowly but surely becoming a child

instead

of maturing as independent people. A bright future pinned with

Correct article usage

show examples

well-paid

job

Fix the agreement mistake

jobs

show examples

and possessions would not be achieved by an adult since he will not gain useful experience gained because of obstacles faced in independent life.

For example

, the recent news from BBC clearly depicted the countries of mature living with their guardian. Precisely, Kazakhstan showed the highest result of both not freedom and poor grown individuals.

Furthermore

, the vast majority of the elderly could be vulnerable to complicated obstacles occurred in life. To be more precise, in most cases many problems faced by mature dwelling with their

parents

are usually tackled by their

parents

Consequently

, they are not gaining any paramount experience that could be used in tackling issues and making

a proper decisions

Correct the article-noun agreement

a proper decision

proper decisions

show examples

That is

why the drawback entirely outdoes the pros. In conclusion, due to depriving independence and not gaining experience in solving problems the disadvantages of dwelling with

parents

the disadvantages completely outweigh the advantages.

Submitted by argyn-34 on Wed Dec 07 2022

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

258 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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IN SOME COUNTRIES MORE AND MORE ADULTS ARE CONTINUING TO LIVE WITH PARENTS EVEN AFTER COMPLETING THEIR EDUCATION AND GETTING JOBS. DO THE ADVANTAGES OUTWIEGH DISADVANTAGES

Completing a university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a good job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experience and developing soft skills is more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Many manufactured food and drinks contain high level of sugars which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

Young people are often influenced by their peers. This is called peer group pressure. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?