Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair. Discuss both these views and give your own opinions.
Nowadays throughout the world, there are a lot of outstanding
sports
athletes who have a salary higher in comparison with other types of professionals. One group of society prefers to consider Use synonyms
this
trend as a fair fact, Linking Words
while
others are against Linking Words
this
position. In Linking Words
this
essay, an attempt will be made to investigate both types of vision and Linking Words
then
provide my own opinion.
Those who support the view that Linking Words
sports
specialists deserve to have high wages present a number of points to justify their viewpoint. Use synonyms
Firstly
, as a matter of fact, one of the essential sectors of the development of the country might be Linking Words
sports
activity. The government of the country every year allocates some part of the budget in order to receive a great outcome in a Use synonyms
sports
direction. Use synonyms
Moreover
, it is strategically important for developing countries, Linking Words
due to
the fact that the great results of the Linking Words
sports
professionals might make the developing country more popular worldwide. Use synonyms
For instance
, Linking Words
last
year there was a significant event in the history of tennis sport in the Republic of Kazakhstan, where Elena Rybakina, a famous tennis player demonstrated excellent results in a game in Europe and won first place. Linking Words
Additionally
, everyone knows that in order to receive great results in Linking Words
sports
competition the Use synonyms
sports
athlete has to make a lot of repetition and great effort.
Use synonyms
Nevertheless
, the opponents of the above idea offer their own respective reasons as well. So, Linking Words
while
Linking Words
sports
professionals earn lots of money and have more opportunities to realise themselves, specialists in other sectors are forced to undergo difficulties because of unhealthy environments and low salaries. They considerUse synonyms
,
it Remove the comma
apply
is
unfair to have Unnecessary verb
apply
such
a contrast between two parts of individuals, and Linking Words
therefore
need to have some changes from the government.
In summary, both views provide important arguments for Linking Words
this
subject. Linking Words
Whereas
some might believe that the high earnings of the Linking Words
sports
athletes are not justified, I am firmly convinced that it is honest towards athletes to have a big salary for their hard work. Use synonyms
However
, I would like to add, that it is strategically important for government to work with their programme to help Linking Words
another type
of citizens to raise their conditions of life by increasing their wages.Fix the agreement mistake
other types
Submitted by akhmedova.mb on
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Coherence and Cohesion
Provide more varied sentence structures to enhance the complexity of your writing.
Task Achievement
While your examples are relevant, try to include a wider range of real-world examples to support your points. This will make your essay more persuasive and comprehensive.
Coherence and Cohesion
Be careful with minor grammatical errors and ensure the consistency of verb tenses throughout your essay.
Task Achievement
Excellent job discussing both views and providing a clear personal opinion. This demonstrates a good level of understanding and engagement with the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion
Good logical structure that makes your essay easy to follow. Introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion are all present and well-defined.
Task Achievement
Your use of an example (Elena Rybakina's victory) is an effective way to support your argument. Including specific details adds credibility to your claim.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.