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Band 3

Advertising discourages people from being different individuals by making us all want to do the same and look the same. to what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #individuals #want
Nowadays, advertisement becomes very popular and people are doing
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 things in order to follow these commercials. The following paragraph would highlight my perspective which
lead
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leads
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 to a logical conclusion. No doubt,
modern
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the modern
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 world creates many advantages for us, but it
also
Replace the word
affects
show examples
effects
Correct your spelling
affects
show examples
 our society due to its different schemes. The most common scheme which harms our community is the excessive use of
adds
Correct your spelling
ads
show examples
. The
first
 and foremost reason behind
this
 is the blind trust of people on social media which discourages them to create new things. The whole nation loses
his
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
 creative skills and just follows the trends.
For example
, multimedia introduces an app
tiktok
Correct your spelling
TikTok
 which is specified for
unique
Add an article
the unique
a unique
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 content
creator
Fix the agreement mistake
creators
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, but the public uses
this
 app to just follow the trends. Another pivotal aspect is that advertisement of
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 products, but in an excellent way improves his status in front of
floks
Correct your spelling
folks
.
For example
, a clothing brand launches its new collection and receives a very low response. After that, they create a fascinating advertisement
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 their collection and sell their product with high profit. To recapitulate, because of the aforementioned reasons, we may safely conclude that the negative impacts of the topic
is
Change the verb form
are
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 far outweighed the advantages that cannot be overlooked either.
Submitted by howdareuhh on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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