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Band 5.5

Some people believe that the Earth is being harmed (damaged) by human activity. Others feel that human activity makes the Earth a better place to live. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #earth #activity #place
Our modern civilization is the consequence of several human actions.
While
 some
people
 believe that human activities are one of the primary causes of harm to our planet.
However
, I am convinced that various human actions are being caused to proliferate the earth's deterioration rate.
Firstly
, our planet is being destroyed by unfriendly human activities, which is the belief of a segment of
people
.
For instance
, scientists are constantly working in various chemical factories that are being set up by
people
, and the waste from those factories is dumped into rivers and canals
along with
 methane gas that has been mixed with air.
Similarly
, advanced technology has led to a variety of vehicles that emit harmful gases. These gases have an impact on the ozone layer, which is hazardous to both humans and the
environment
.
Consequently
, the
environment
 is a victim of the greenhouse effect, acid rain,
likewise
 many
such
 conditions that are detrimental to us and the upcoming generation.
Secondly
, new advanced technology helps us in many ways, agriculture is one of them. Scientists are constantly analyzing
this
 section to develop the proliferation ratio of harvests.
According to
 current data, many farmed fields are being fertilized using advanced technology to produce crops that can
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
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people
's needs
while
 simultaneously benefiting the
environment
 by creating oxygen. Meanwhile, many industries are trying to recycle items
such
 as plastic since they are harmful to the
environment
, take a long time to integrate with the soil, and
as a consequence
, can have a negative impact on the soil. In a nutshell, I strongly believe that many human activities degrade the
environment
 in order to advance human existence on
earth
Capitalize word
Earth
show examples
.
Submitted by samsulislam43.si on

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coherence and cohesion
The essay lacks clear organization of ideas and logical flow. The essay needs to have a clear introduction, body, and conclusion.
task response
The essay does not fully address the task and lacks comprehensive ideas. The essay requires a more balanced and comprehensive approach to discussing both views.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • sustainability
  • renewable resources
  • carbon footprint
  • conservation
  • ecology
  • emissions
  • fossil fuels
  • greenhouse gases
  • habitat destruction
  • industrialization
  • pollutants
  • recycling
  • urbanization
  • deforestation
  • ecosystem
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