Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? All students should be required to study art and music in secondary school. Use specific reasons to support your answer

#students #study #art #music #school #support

In my

opinion

Add a comma

opinion,

show examples

studying

art

and

music

in secondary school is not mandatory. Each student learns

art

and

music

at his own will

students

who are not interested in

art

and

music

can do sports. In my opinion

art

and

music

can not

taught

Add a missing verb

be taught

show examples

compuesonily

Correct your spelling

compulsorily

, because

students

want to learn what they are interested in and spend a lot of time learning.

Music

and

art

are

nicessary

Correct your spelling

necessary

for a

students

Change noun form

student's

show examples

free time, but not always. To be interested in

art

understand

tham

Correct your spelling

them

Regarning

Correct your spelling

Regarding

art

and

music

in secondary school can defeat the purpose of these

students

For

example

Add a comma

example,

show examples

students

Fix the agreement mistake

student

show examples

likes to study specific subjects and

works

Change the verb form

work

show examples

on himself. If he has to study

art

and

music

and starts learning without

interests

Fix the agreement mistake

interest

show examples

will be left behind.

Therefore

I think that

art

and

music

should be taught in secondary school

according to

the

studentsʼ

Correct your spelling

students

wishes. I think

this

is a very satisfactory idea.

Submitted by ilkhomjon.uralov97 on Fri Dec 09 2022

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coherence cohesion

The essay lacks a clear structure and logical progression of ideas. It is important to organize the content into paragraphs and provide a clear introduction and conclusion.

task response

The response does not fully address the task. The essay should provide specific reasons to support the opinion, as well as consider the opposing viewpoint and present a well-rounded argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Grammar mistakes
 

1 paragraphs

152 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

foster creativity
innovative thinking
emotional well-being
reduce stress
creative expression
cultural awareness
inclusive and diverse society
cognitive development
academic performance
spatial-temporal reasoning
language development
career opportunities
creative industries
contributors to the economy

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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? All students should be required to study art and music in secondary school. Use specific reasons to support your answer

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think it’s better to choose friend s who always have the same opinions as them. Other people believe it’s good to have friends who sometimes disagree with them Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?