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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people argue that student should read histry in school,other opine that they should read technology. discuss both views and give your opinio.

#people #student #histry #school #opine #technology #opinio
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Some citizens claim that students
needs
Change the verb form
need
show examples
 to read
history
Use synonyms
 in school,
others
Correct word choice
while others
show examples
 argue that children should read about
technology
Use synonyms
 articles.
Although
Linking Words
 reading about
technology
Use synonyms
 is an essential aspect
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 life nowadays, I believe that reading
history
Use synonyms
 in school is vital because students can learn from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
past events and it
help
Change the verb form
helps
show examples
 them become clever citizens. On the one hand, learning about
technology
Use synonyms
 is an important aspect nowadays because most of the
acacemic
Correct your spelling
academic
assigments
Correct your spelling
assignments
 are
on line
Correct your spelling
online
show examples
.
Also
Linking Words
, young generations feel attracted to
check
Wrong verb form
checking
show examples
 on the latest technological gadgets and feel anxious if they do not have
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, many
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
schools provide laptops to all children for free because they send homework through a link.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it is important to
lean
Correct your spelling
learn
show examples
 about it. To explain
further
Linking Words
, starting the pandemic situation of covid-19 in 2020, in California most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
elementary schools and middle schools give laptops to all their students at the
begining
Correct your spelling
beginning
 of the year for free.
However
Linking Words
, I believe there are other aspects
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 life that
needs
Change the verb form
need
show examples
 more attention than
this
Linking Words
. On the other hand, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
Add an article
the people
show examples
 strongly believe that reading
history
Use synonyms
 is vital to learn from our past events and learn about our ancestors who fight for our liberty.
Firstly
Linking Words
, those who ignore their past
history
Use synonyms
 tend to do the same errors because they pass over
an important aspects
Correct the article-noun agreement
important aspects
an important aspect
show examples
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
history
Use synonyms
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, they believe that reading about
history
Use synonyms
 will bring
proudness
Replace the word
pride
show examples
 to people and raise awareness of unique events that we overcome.
For instance
Linking Words
, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Add an article
the undevelop
show examples
undevelop
Correct your spelling
undeveloped
 countries
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 ignore
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 past,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
tend to make the same mistakes
withing
Correct your spelling
within
show examples
 society like choosing many
corrupted
Replace the word
corrupt
show examples
 prime ministers who make very important political decisions
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 their nations. I believe
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
history
Use synonyms
 is a vital aspect to learn in school because we need to
be involve
Change the verb form
be involved
show examples
 with what
happend
Correct your spelling
happened
 in the past and what might
happend
Correct your spelling
happen
 in the future. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 it is important to learn about
Use synonyms
technology
Replace the word
technological
show examples
 innovations to catch up with the new world, I believe that it is vital to learn about
history
Use synonyms
 because it helps us to become aware and take smart decisions to protect our society and avoid
to make
Change the verb form
making
show examples
 the same errors that
happend
Correct your spelling
happened
happen
 in the past.
Submitted by cuevas14dic on

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