In some countries, older people are choosing to live in retirement communities with other older people rather than living with their adult children. Is it a positive or negative development?

It is not uncommon that many old
people
today are choosing to live in
retirement
communities. In
this
essay, I intend to discuss the main reasons, and I believe that it is a negative development.
On the other hand
,
people
can benefit significantly if they choose to live in
retirement
centres
. The main reason for
this
view is that
retirement
Correct article usage
a retirement
show examples
community is a place where residents can be able to access
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
various infrastructures and facilities
such
as restaurants, swimming
pool
Fix the agreement mistake
pools
show examples
and multi-functional rooms. Compare to living at home, they are more likely to have a high-standard living and enjoy a better life. Another reason for
this
view is that as registered nurses and support workers available in
retirement
centres
are usually high-quality, professional and well-trained, older
people
as
vulnerable
Add an article
a vulnerable
show examples
group
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groups
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are more likely to receive prompt care and treatment when they get sick, especially during emergent situations.
On the other hand
, I tend to believe the problems of older
people
going to
retirement
centres
cannot be ignored.
Firstly
, elderly
people
living in
retirement
communities will have
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
opportunities to face-to-face communicate with their families, which will increase
generation
Correct article usage
the generation
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gap and weaken family bonds and
as a result
, it will cause family alienation.
Secondly
, older
people
will be more likely to have extra
expenditure
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expenditures
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and experience financial
burden
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burdens
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if they choose to live in
retirement
centres
, which is particularly the case among low-saving individuals.
Finally
, it is no doubt to say that seniors living who live alone might battle loneliness and feel isolated. Not only does
this
impart quality of life,
it is
Add the word(s)
but it is also
show examples
proven to have a negative
impart
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impact
show examples
health
such
as obesity, depression and heart disease. In conclusion, I reaffirm my position that it is a negative development.
Submitted by yawenou07089 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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