In some countries, older people are choosing to live in retirement communities with other older people rather than living with their adult children. Is it a positive or negative development?

#countries #people #retirement #communities #adult #children #development

It is not uncommon that many old

people

today are choosing to live in

retirement

communities. In

this

essay, I intend to discuss the main reasons, and I believe that it is a negative development.

On the other hand

people

can benefit significantly if they choose to live in

retirement

centres

. The main reason for

this

view is that

retirement

Correct article usage

a retirement

show examples

community is a place where residents can be able to access

Change preposition

apply

show examples

various infrastructures and facilities

such

as restaurants, swimming

pool

Fix the agreement mistake

pools

show examples

and multi-functional rooms. Compare to living at home, they are more likely to have a high-standard living and enjoy a better life. Another reason for

this

view is that as registered nurses and support workers available in

retirement

centres

are usually high-quality, professional and well-trained, older

people

vulnerable

Add an article

a vulnerable

show examples

group

Fix the agreement mistake

groups

show examples

are more likely to receive prompt care and treatment when they get sick, especially during emergent situations.

On the other hand

, I tend to believe the problems of older

people

going to

retirement

centres

cannot be ignored.

Firstly

, elderly

people

living in

retirement

communities will have

less

Change the quantifier

fewer

show examples

opportunities to face-to-face communicate with their families, which will increase

generation

Correct article usage

the generation

show examples

gap and weaken family bonds and

as a result

, it will cause family alienation.

Secondly

, older

people

will be more likely to have extra

expenditure

Fix the agreement mistake

expenditures

show examples

and experience financial

burden

Fix the agreement mistake

burdens

show examples

if they choose to live in

retirement

centres

, which is particularly the case among low-saving individuals.

Finally

, it is no doubt to say that seniors living who live alone might battle loneliness and feel isolated. Not only does

this

impart quality of life,

it is

Add the word(s)

but it is also

show examples

proven to have a negative

impart

Correct your spelling

impact

show examples

health

such

as obesity, depression and heart disease. In conclusion, I reaffirm my position that it is a negative development.

Submitted by yawenou07089 on Mon Dec 12 2022

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

289 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In some countries, older people are choosing to live in retirement communities with other older people rather than living with their adult children. Is it a positive or negative development?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Writing, reading and maths are the three recognized traditional subjects. Computer skill should also be the fourth largest branch. Do you agree or disagree?

Many societies are full of pollution. Why is this? How to solve? And give opinion

An increasing number of larger shopping areas, malls and department stores are leading to the decline of smaller corner shops. what are the advantages and disadvantages of shopping in larger shopping centers rather than smaller, more traditional shops?

Universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject. To what extent do you agree or dis agree.

Some people think that it's easier for adults to learn skills (Ex: Computer skills) by themselves. Others think they need the help of a teacher in a classroom. Discuss both views and give your opinion as well.