IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

some people tink that it is more imporant to spend money on roads and motoways than on public transport systems such as railway and trams. to what extent do you agree or disagree

#people #tink #imporant #money #roads #motoways #transport #systems #railway #trams
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There are those who opine that it is more crucial if the government allocates financial resources
tothe
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to the
 construction of roadways
instead
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 of
transport
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systems
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 for railways and the tram network. Personally, I am totally against
this
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 idea because comprehensive public
transport
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systems
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 can bring convenience to more people and help protect the environment. The primary reason supporting my stance is that well-built and maintained public
transport
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systems
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 make commuters’ lives easier. Employees do not have to go to work by car, especially those who work in the city centre, where finding a parking space is time-consuming and at the same time, it is costly to park;
instead
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, they can take a nap and finish some work on the train or bus. Apart from that, people can avoid traffic jams during peak hours because bus lanes are already available, and trains always run smoothly as scheduled. Another point I consider relevant is that financing public
transport
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 can contribute more to environmental protection. Automobiles are powered by fossil fuels, emitting large quantities of toxic gases to pollute the air. If people actively choose public
transport
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due to
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 its great convenience and high efficiency they can enjoy, they will be less likely to drive cars.
Such
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 green travel will considerably alleviate air pollution, making a city more liveable. In conclusion, I strongly disagree that it is more reasonable to invest money in building roads and freeways rather than public
transport
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 facilities. Funding public
transport
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systems
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 can, for one thing, make individuals’ everyday life more convenient, and, for another, conserve the environment.
Therefore
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, it is suggested that the authorities prioritise developing public
transport
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systems
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.
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For further improvement, consider providing more specific examples to support your main points. Examples can help illustrate your arguments more concretely and make your essay more compelling.
coherence cohesion
Although the essay is well-organized, try to ensure each paragraph seamlessly transitions to the next. Consider using more linking words and phrases to reinforce coherence.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear and well-crafted, effectively framing your argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a logical structure, and your main points are well-supported and clearly articulated.
task achievement
You have fully addressed the task and provided a thorough response to the prompt, demonstrating a good understanding of the topic.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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