IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

some people want government to spend money on life on other planets, however, others think it is a waste of public money when the earth has so many problems. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

The phenomenon of
government
Use synonyms
 expenditure on researching other planets has aroused wide concern among various circles.
Although
Linking Words
 there are good arguments in favour of the development of universe technology, I personally believe that there are other practical fields that are more worth
to invest
Wrong verb form
investing in
show examples
. On
one
Correct article usage
the one
show examples
 hand, exploring the universe would be a great opportunity to find another place
that is
Linking Words
 suitable for human habitation. Because of human activities and the
continued
Replace the word
continuously
show examples
raising
Use the right word
rising
show examples
 population, the earth is no longer healthy for humanity. Finding new planets is important to all
people
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, a part of
people
Use synonyms
 moving to another planet to live will reduce the consumption of resources and carbon dioxide emissions.
This
Linking Words
 will
in
Punctuation problem
, in
show examples
turn
Punctuation problem
turn,
show examples
 lead to
Correct article usage
the earth
show examples
earth
Fix capitalization
Earth
show examples
 having time to rest and recover.
Moreover
Linking Words
, even if new habitats are not found, there is still a chance to discover new resources during the journey of searching.
Therefore
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
 think that we should support
government
Use synonyms
 funding in
this
Linking Words
 field.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
 argue that
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 should spend money to solve the cause of the problems on the earth since the existing
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
 will show up again in the future even if we move to a new planet.
For instance
Linking Words
, our transportation in the modern world requires a lot of
non-recycled
Use the right word
non-renewable
show examples
 energy.
This
Linking Words
 is one of the main reasons why so much undetectable weather in recent years.
As a result
Linking Words
, the development of new energy is one of the main trends that
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 should
be supported
Wrong verb form
support
show examples
 to alleviate the existing issue. Under
this
Linking Words
 line of thinking, exploration of new planets
seems
Verb problem
apply
show examples
can benefit
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
all
people
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, I still believe that resolving the existing
is
Check wording
issues is
show examples
 the better way for mankind.

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structure
Make a clear plan: put one idea in each paragraph and link them with simple words.
content
Say your own view in a clear line at the end. Restate the main idea.
language
Use easy words and short sentences. Check that the meaning is exact.
content
Add more concrete and simple examples related to the topic.
grammar
Check grammar and fix mistakes that change meaning.
content
The essay tries to discuss both views.
structure
There is a basic structure with an on one hand / on the other hand.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • space exploration
  • extraterrestrial
  • terrestrial issues
  • poverty alleviation
  • sustainable
  • philosophical advancement
  • ethics
  • biological diversity
  • technological breakthroughs
  • resource allocation
  • fiscal responsibility
  • humanity's place in the universe
  • pressing issues
  • critical resources
What to do next:
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