IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?

#spite #advances #agriculture #people #world #case
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In today’s modern era the developments in
agroculture
Correct your spelling
agriculture
has
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have
show examples
 increased, but
a
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apply
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plenty of
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
 over the world suffering from the lack of food. The main reason for that, is
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 number of people
rise
Wrong verb form
rising
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annualy
Correct your spelling
annually
,
however
Linking Words
 new
approches
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approaches
 would be
proved
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proven
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against
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apply
show examples
to starve
Change the verb form
starving
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 essay will answer
to
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apply
show examples
questions and will suggest some
approches
Correct your spelling
approaches
. At
first
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, the present world lives in
time
Add an article
a time
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 of overpopulation and
ramifications
Correct article usage
the ramifications
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 of
this
Linking Words
 problem in
Correct article usage
the agrocultural
show examples
agrocultural
Correct your spelling
agricultural
 sector. The new
reseraches
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research
researches
 found out that
today
Change noun form
today's
show examples
 population size reached a peak and rise tremendously. For
intance
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instance
,
Chinese
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the Chinese
show examples
 government make a law, which
prohibit
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prohibits
show examples
a
Correct article usage
the
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 number of childbirth in each family. All these actions
shows
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show
show examples
as
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apply
show examples
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 size of
issue
Add an article
the issue
show examples
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, many countries
does
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do
show examples
 a
multitide
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multitude
 of trying to reduce
lack
Correct article usage
the lack
show examples
 of products, like
save
Wrong verb form
saving
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
basic and
neccessary
Correct your spelling
necessary
 nutritious
to
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for
show examples
 future
consimung
Correct your spelling
consuming
continuing
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, a lot of individuals used to waste a significant number of
foods
Fix the agreement mistake
food
show examples
to
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on
show examples
unneccessary
Correct your spelling
unnecessary
 things. Namely, water consumption is the biggest
wasting
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waste
show examples
 type of consumption, which could be sent to
undeveloping
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undeveloped
 areas. Meanwhile, many international organizations, like UNESCO set up
a
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apply
show examples
some
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apply
show examples
charities which help
to
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apply
show examples
starving
Change the verb form
starve
show examples
 people in the world. To conclude, our
socium
Correct your spelling
social
is suffer
Change the verb form
is suffered
is suffering
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
such
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of
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apply
show examples
issues from
starving
Replace the word
starvation
show examples
. Because of overcrowded on the Earth,
that
Linking Words
is create
Change the verb form
creates
show examples
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of basic products. In order to solve
this
Linking Words
 problem people should prevent products and try to help by charity.
Submitted by Allazhar on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • inequality
  • distribution
  • access to resources
  • climate change
  • natural disasters
  • political factors
  • economic factors
  • agricultural practices
  • infrastructure
  • transportation
  • population growth
  • education
  • knowledge
  • food waste
What to do next:
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