In many parts of world there is continuos coverage of sport on television. Some people believe this discourages the young from taking part in any sport themselves. Discuss the view and give your own opinion.

#parts #world #continuos #coverage #sport #television #people #part

Sports

are getting more popular nowadays. Most countries have provided

sports

channels on television in order to promote people to exercise. Some individuals believe that youngsters are not suitable for participating in

sports

events, while others think that they should take part in

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

. In my opinion, I fully support that youngsters should engage in sport and in the following paragraphs, I will discuss both judgements. On one hand,

sports

injuries do occur accidentally or purposely during the event, and

this

will definitely affect their future and may have sequela

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

if the injury is severe and require surgery.

For instance

, according to the research, ACL ruptures are the most frequent and common dilemma,

thus

it often requires surgery and a certain period of rehabilitation which not only affect their quality of life

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but

also

costs an amount to handle.

Hence

, parents discourage their children to participate due to the possibility of getting hurt.

On the other hand

, taking part in

sports

event provide better physical and mental health. Athletes are required to train their strength to improve their performance, as it

also

boosts their immune system. To illustrate

this

, scientific journals proved that people who have exercise habits tend to live longer and lower opportunities to be affected by sickness.

Besides

, stress can be eased by exercising which reduces negative emotions and increase self-confidence. So,

sports

are suggested for youngsters as it provides them with stronger stamina and more optimistic thinking. To sum up,

although

sports

may bring harm to the young and affect their future, meanwhile it helps them to build up their strength and prevent them from getting sick. I wholeheartedly believe, teenagers should carry on their attendance in

sports

, and television should continuously promote it as well.

Submitted by yeejing2009 on Mon Dec 19 2022

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

290 words

7.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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