IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people believe that it is parents who teach children to recycle waste. While others feel schools are more responsible. Discuss both views.

#people #parents #children #waste #schools
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It is considered that parents have a responsibility to teach their offspring how to reproduce the waste. Why is the family responsible for
this
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? Many people argue that school authorities should shoulder
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 obligation. There are arguments on both sides ,
,
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apply
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however
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however,
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 which we will discuss here. With the emergence of disposable pieces of stuff and polyethene containers, environmental issues have arisen. In order to find flexible and feasible solutions, we ought to receive recycling techniques
Furthermore
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, if people want to reside clean and pure atmosphere, they should bring up their children as eco-friendly at an early age.
Firstly
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, all parents should act as
role -module
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role-modules
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.
This
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 has led to children respecting nature which in turn, has resulted in a higher rate of understanding of the importance of recycling. On the other side, not only parents should try to achieve
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, but
also
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 school principals ought to encourage students to clean up and recycle the garbage in the schoolyard, stimulating them to volunteer work.
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, it would be handy, if schools add some sort of subjects into the school syllabus and curriculum which is directly related to today's global air pollution and water contamination.
Hence
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, in my opinion, children believe in their teacher's word rather than their parent's.
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, the strong connection between environmental matters and recycling should be taught in a more structured and efficient way.
To sum up
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, we may see positive results of recycling actions in the near future, if families and schools
also
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 take all possible measures in cooperation.
Submitted by uluga2002 on

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task achievement
Try to expand on your main ideas with more specific examples. This will make your arguments more persuasive and relatable.
coherence cohesion
Although your essay has an introduction, body, and conclusion, try to make the flow between paragraphs a bit smoother. Transition words and phrases can help guide the reader.
task achievement
Make sure to clearly differentiate the arguments presented on both sides to enhance clarity for the reader.
coherence cohesion
The introduction sets a clear premise for the essay by mentioning both arguments.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the essay and emphasizes the need for cooperation.
task achievement
Your essay acknowledges the importance of both parents and schools, providing a balanced view.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Formative years
  • Primary source of moral guidance
  • Reinforce daily habits
  • Environmental responsibility
  • Setting a personal example
  • Personalized learning experience
  • Structured environment
  • Formal educational resources
  • Environmental impact
  • Facilitate recycling initiatives
  • Inculcating a culture
  • Practical recycling activities
  • Collaboration with community programs
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